Mildred's Soliloquy Video (MV)

Everybody knows man's best friend
Adorable
Greets you at the door loyal to a fault, frogs
And that's why I never trusted the British
Not because I'm an American
But because they were the first to eat frogs
Weirdos
All those poor precious froggies
I remember being a little girl and going out to recess with all my peers
And there was Mr. Cookie, the best frog there ever was
And he hopped in my pocket and I took him home
And he was mine and I was his
I taught him all sorts of tricks like how to tap dance and jump through hoops
That little frog, he taught me how to genuinely love somebody and be loved back
He'd catch me flies and we'd go for long swims in the pond
Oh! He even committed tax evasion for me
And all throughout high school
Pet frogs can live for a very long time
It was the two of us through thick and thin, thick and thin
And when nobody asked me to the prom Mr. Cookie was my date
And when that prissy Tricia Sparks said
No girl ought to take an amphibian to a dance
He stuck his tongue out right in her eye
And when graduation rolled around and the school wouldn't give Mr. Cookie his degree
Even though he attended all the same classes I did
Harold Kingston a boy in my class made him one out of a note card gum wrapper and some twine
Mr. Cookie was valedictorian in my book
And then he died
And I never thought I would love again
And I'll have you know I had many suitors back in my day
Dozens and dozens
But I turned them all down
But that Harold Kingston
Why he came to Mr. Cookie's funeral
And he offered to be my new pet frog
And I didn't really think he was up for it
But I said okay I guess
And it didn't work at first
I mean he couldn't hop the same and he was no good at catching flies
But he would listen to me like Mr. Cookie would
And he could hold my hand like Mr. Cookie never could
And in time I learned to love the man
Instead of the frog that I wanted him to be