Wondering Video (MV)

I don't know where to go
She doesn't care anyway
Would she if I slit my throat?
In Bates kind of way
Last time I was happy when I was with you
Last night I said I was happy but it wasn't true
Love me for a year then you said it is overdue
Went on a date with a girl, but I still can't get over you
You and I have some type of connection
Everything I touch, it dies cause I have that dejection
I'm the darkness, the blackness
See my skin, I'll find rejection
I'm not that kind of guy who sees girl and automatic erection
Don't forget the happy thoughts
All you need is happy thoughts
Paid homage to God, but doesn't change a lot
I could've find someone better
I could've take shots 'till I go ill and started realizing it won't roll the wheel
And Jesus isn't here to take the wheel
Let me take my pill
Lost interest when she always says no
She thinks loving is easy, and easy to let go
She didn't know that I have this philo
She's ignoring, but why does it have to be me though?
The pills ain't working, next I'll do the pistol
Where should I right my wrongs, no shoulder to lean on
"Don't do cigs, do not drink"
No need to remind me
Let me drown and sink
What if I die for you?
What if we eat for two?
Does it bother you?
Was it hate from you?
Cause pain still lingers on my mind
The regret still felt real like I didn't do mine
I still feel sick, every time I think of it
Think of everything I shared, she shared, we shared
Flashback memories make me feel scared
Now I'm relying on God to make me feel fair