Welcome to the laidback Hotel
Check in when your life's gone to hell
Leave your troubles by the gate
Tommy our hell boy
Will make sure they're safe
Welcome to the Laidback Hotel
Meet Harriet she's our near miss angel
Oh she'll show you a good time
Providing that you check out in time
Why can't we all get lost
Why can't we all sod off
And check out in a limousine
En route to somewhere forever green
Welcome to the Laidback hotel
Meet our resident major Basingstoke Trent
Oh he'll give you a good tip
Providing that you don't mind a dip
Welcome to the Laidback hotel
Wear anything really we never care
If you need a fancy dress
Just dial up 18 and we'll do our best
Why can't we all get lost
Why can't we all sod off
And check out in a limousine
En route to somewhere forever green
Welcome to the Laidback Hotel
Meet Lizzie she's our French Nightingale
Oh she'll treat you to a song
Providing that everything goes wrong
Welcome to the Laidback Hotel
Meet Tony he's the man with the spell
Oh he'll get you anything
Providing that you don't mind the dream
Why can't we all get lost
Why can't we all sod off
And walk out in the setting sun
To someplace that is forever fun
Welcome to the Laidback hotel
Check in when everything has failed
Take a minute to relax
And we'll make sure to make you relapse
Why don't we all get high
Why can't we all stay high
And f*ck off in a limousine
En route to somewhere forever green
Or walk out in the setting sun
To someplace that is forever fun
Walk out in the setting sun
To someplace that is forever fun