polearm - trapped Lyrics

Promise I'm not mad at you
But when you ask me if I'm happy my new path is skewed
Intuition turns to forced reaction, so how could that be true?
And if you really wanna break it down I'm only
But I thought I wanted in
It gets me angry when I can't enjoy my time with this
But the panic closes in
I'm staring at my phone at the table, why can't I hold it in?
I'm so much more than this
I'm so much
I've been stuck in this cycle
Everyday I feel trapped
I've been stuck in this cycle
Everyday I feel trapped
The world had took it all away from me and won't give it back
I went and sharpened every tool I had, but wonder what lacks
Sometimes I wish this shit was do or die cause I can't relax
But it's not like that
I wanna do this shit forever, but I can't hope for that
I wanna do this shit forever, I'm tryna cope with that
I put this off another day til' it became a week
I choose to scoff, inside I'm pained, inside I still feel weak
It's nine o clock, my speech is off, my bedroom walls still creak
My aim is off, my anger caused by such a minor tweak
I got so f*cking frustrated I had to go to sleep
Some days I wish I could spare myself from this hopeless feeling
Like f*ck my jaded heart
Maybe there's no hope in healing
Then I feel it in my gut
The tension between us
I think I'm smoking too much
Or maybe just not enough
Either way I'm tired as f*ck
Cause I can't lay down in your arms
Cause I'm so overstimulated
I keep on pushing, I'm stuck
Maybe it's just not enough
Maybe it's only because
I've been stuck in this cycle
Everyday I feel trapped
I've been stuck in this cycle
Everyday I feel trapped
The world had took it all away from me and won't give it back
I went and sharpened every tool I had, but wonder what lacks