Polish John - please don't help me Lyrics

Well this day has been a hell of a week
And this week has been a hell of a month
And this month, I won't regret
If I completely forget
It might give my weary mind a rest for once
Spend my day pushing away
The ones I hold the closest
I will not talk to anyone
For fear of diagnosis
This mask I wear, I keep a spare
In the trunk of my car
With loquacious introspection and
Acoustic guitar
They won't get me far
And every second can feel like a minute
When you're just so deep down in it
And you're losing all your sense
Walling up as self defense
Cuz you don't know if the end is the beginning
These thoughts that consume me
Are bewildered and intrusive
Start jumping to conclusions
But results are inconclusive
The truth I see is stretched by me
And always ends the same
I'll say or do the wrong thing
And I'll wallow in my shame
With just myself to blame
If you hear me please don't help me
So much easier to keep living this way
And I recoil at the thought I might be wrong
So, I wouldn't accept it anyway
My excuses aren't tired
No, they're f*cking exhausted
And my fragile sense of self
Well, I seem to have lost it
And every time I'm left behind
And no one else's around me
Yeah, I'll be gone & you'll move on
And life goes on without me
This was never about me
If you hear me please don't help me
So much easier to keep living this way
And I recoil at the thought I might be wrong
So, I wouldn't accept it anyway
And if you're listening please don't help me
I can make due all by myself
I may be the one who needs the most convincing of this fact
But that's not me asking for help
No this isn't me asking for help