Potmos Hetoimos - The Sins of the Thousands Lyrics

Here I am, face to face with my past again
There she stands, shivering and afraid
Dilated pupils struggle to form a bleak stare
Piercing my calloused soul with remorse
Five years ago, throwing conscience to the fire
When passion perverse had taken its hold
With baited breath watching her from a distance
Awaiting my moment to strip away her grace

What Godless animation, this!
To cast aside my mind and act on foolishness
A thought long killed continues to survive
And presses me to an unforgivable
A thousand times unforgivable deed
Hiding away under cloud-covered night
In darkness I smothered all inhibition
Alone she walked, as the clock struck her years
Into my grasp she fell, commencing my mission
Eyes shut, over and over
Cold touch, warmer and warmer
Screaming, louder and louder
Hoping no one will find her

Now there's no turning back, the act is accomplished
Spirit's conviction silenced, my soul is vanished
The opposite of perfection is manifest
The only justified punishment is death
I escaped to live on, but forever she was trapped
Dead inside, she fell into a life of wickedness
Five years passed before they could not find her
But my name they found on her suicide letter

Did I take her life, her purity
In prepubescent indignity?
Or it this reality all that it seems?
This is how it should have happened
This is how it would have happened
But instead I lay alone only daydreaming such schemes
The construct of my mind erased
Confronted by a sinner's face
I only misbehaved inside my head
But if my sin is psychological
What this ocean so physical
That purports to drain my life till I am dead?