Present Absence - Disorder Lyrics

Why can't you see it in my eyes
The colors fade
Cold in your gaze
I hope the rays of the sunrise
Will light up my pain
Salt on my face

Oh man, with a panic attack landin' straight on the floor
I lay right there
Thought that's the thing that I'd never give out
And the shit that I wouldn't share
But I can't hold it in and it hurts when I tell you I don't care
I don't care, uh

And I go to bed f*cked up
Hope you'll never find out
Wish I could be someone
And not a f*ckin' downer
And I know you know I've it quite bad
But you've never known why, 'cause I kept it unsaid, yeah

Self reflectin' thoughts
Display all my faults
I swore that I'll change
But it got even worse
Lockin' up the doors
Don't even need a source
Forget my f*ckin' face
I wish I'd never born

(Go to bed)
Go to bed f*cked up
Hope you'll never find out
Wish I could be someone
And not a f*ckin' downer
And I know you know I've it quite bad
But you've never known why, 'cause I kept it unsaid, yeah

Self rejectin' thoughts
Span themselves a home
You say it's all in my head
I say I'm not alone
I wish I'd be, but then
Would I mix a song?
There are two paths to choose
A pen or raven's call