P-train - Christmasogyny Lyrics

Going to the office Christmas party because it's mandatory
If I get drunk as f*ck first at least it won't be boring
There's some fine bitches there and I'm kinda horny
Wearing my rudest Christmas sweater in all it's glory
Drop by my dealer first so I can score weed
The office is decorated all hollied and snowflaked
I'm poppin molly and tryna see hoes naked
Mistletoe on my belt loop, I'm a bit tipsy
Avoiding my boss like its social distancing
She finally caught me, mentioned she's pissed
She told me to stop being so misogynistic
I dismissed it, told her kiss this dick
It's Christmas, le tits now bitch
F*ckin a slutty elf under the Christmas tree
Leave my DNA in her like it's 23 and me
She's the office goth girl with big titties
Puking in the trash can on my knees
Take another shot in between each dry heave
Locked in handcuffs the only way I leave
The HR lady is using business buzz words
I didn't listen because I already f*cked her
I think I heard her mention synergy
Don't care, I wanna jizz in her V
Lick all the donuts on the pastry table
Showing no manners like I was raised in a stable
Going to my boss's desk to lay some cable
Dildo on the tree top not an angel
Fortune 500 company? Could've fooled me
Vomit on my sweater, mom's ravioli
Then I ate more cannoli's than Mark Kaboly
Head to the bathroom stall to roll weed
Gave a ho my substance like she's Margaret Qualley
F*ckin a slutty elf under the Christmas tree
Leave my DNA in her like it's 23 and me
She's the office goth girl with big titties
Puking in the trash can on my knees
Take another shot in between each dry heave
Locked in handcuffs the only way I leave
I get away with shit cuz I'm too valuable to fire
Doing Coke in the bathroom like my name is Coolmire
Now I'm gonna flirt with the diversity hire
She offered to f*ck me so I won't deny her
It's really hard to lift her skirt any higher
I didn't use the same rhyme, you f*ckin liar
She showed me her crystal like Bryan Cranston
In the janitor's closet we started dancin
The way I touched her down I should be in Canton
Felt her down south and I put my man in
Pistol in my belt like I'm Biff Tannen
I came in her mouth
She spit it back out
She said she's gonna ralph
Now I got gonorrhea, no doubt
F*ckin a slutty elf under the Christmas tree
Leave my DNA in her like it's 23 and me
She's the office goth girl with big titties
Puking in the trash can on my knees
Take another shot in between each dry heave
Locked in handcuffs the only way I leave
I showed the secretary my balls and cock
I'm getting so drunk they f*ckin called the cops
Still takin shots like I'm Tupac
I see a foreign girl I bet she has a fun name
Spilled eggnog on her chest, looks like a cum stain
This party was starting to get kind of lame
It doesn't even have it's own Jeffpardy game
The cops just arrived, am I being detained
Sober was never an option
FUCK BOSTON