QUERY - Understanding Lyrics

Understanding, it's all I ever wanted
Nobody really knows cause my life's been always haunted
All my life I was only taunted
Nobody knows the spirits that I've had all up and vaulted
Is that what this is about?
Just my life!?
Or is it about everyone else's now?
Every choice that I've made
Every road that I've crossed
Leaves me wondering if it's all worth the cost
I'll take it back to start where it all became
I was just a youngin before I was all deranged
We've all got our beginning and that's why we're all so ranged
Hope yall will understand me after it's all been explained
Came from humble beginnings, was tread on the right path
I was on my journey, wasn't focused on no fads
Then shit turned wrong and I wasn't bout to get stabbed
Took some piece of glass and put it right up in his calf
I was only seven and shit was never really the same
Zoey moved away and I was who was left to blame
Since then life was different cause it could have been changed
If only I didn't react we wouldn't have been estranged
Taking it further to a time from beyond
Never did belong cause there's so many that I've wronged
Wasn't until much later that this all really dawned
Mistakes paved the path that I stumbled upon
Mother crying 'cause the worlds came colliding
She had found out that I had been the one lying
Broke her heart with the secrets I was up and hiding
Now I see the pain from which there's no denying
Understanding, it's all I ever wanted
Nobody really knows 'cause my life's been always haunted
All my life I was only taunted
Nobody knows the spirits that I've had all up and vaulted