Rumpy Tumpkin & the Boys - Landscape Love Lyrics

It happened at the hardware store
Lookin' for a blue storm door
Got a call from the misses
And she said we're through

I shed tears in housewares
Broke down in paints
It was in that dark moment
I caught her bright eyed gaze

She had a thick green coat on
And she was standing with one of the clerks
She wore fine leathers
But boy, she was built for farm work

Never thought that a guy like me
Would end up with a girl like this
So I got on top of her and
I took hold of her stick shift

Yeah, I'm in love with a tractor
She's got four-wheel drive
And unlike most women
She don't bitch or whine

Yeah, she's a John Deere tractor
And she fits like a glove
I don't care what most folks say
Yeah, this is my landscape love

We've been together for about three weeks
And I found what my heart seeks
Mowed the lawn six times now
With a four-inch chub all the while

We gonna meet my parents
And they didn't say much
She's been so great to me
It feels like I got a high school crush

So I rode up to the drive-in
To get tickets for my lady and I
They said tractors aren't people
I guess they don't welcome her kind

So we went back to my place
For a hot night of sin
Slipped my dick in her tailpipe
But then my wife and kids walked in

They saw me f*ckin' my tractor
My kids puked on sight
She said, "you need to seek help now"
And I said, "I'm just fine"

She said she's taking the kids now
And she's had enough
She said she'll see me in court when I'm done
F*ckin' my landscape love