The Saddest Blue - Self Lyrics

I carry softer hearts tender and throwing love in a hail Mary
Deliver payloads of affection to an adversary
My heart been feeling heavy not from all the pain I carry
But for me reaching for somebody that could never lift me
I'm just exhausted and it's never ending
I swear I walk around this earth with this hopeless useless romanticism
And sweat profusely I'm running against the wind I'm hitting
The hottest waves of emotions constantly floating in me
I'm not the type of dude to fill with envy
But feeling jealous to the fact that you chilling and not a thing you missing
While me I'm stuck in the polaroid of this past I'm living
Forever tired ready for current to future memories

And I been upset
Balance been stretched to a set distance
Cooperating in boundaries swiftly but always missing I
Navigate my mission through trenches and not to mention
I'm dodging these bullets piercing my armor the root to feelings
I'm nauseous and far from winning my stomach painting an image
Of venom and not butterfly's beauty has left my system
It's ugly and I'll admit it
But situations been killing my tolerance every minute
I'm through with it man I'm finished
I swear to you dawg I'm ending these conversations
That lead me to question me why I'm living
This to my people who know I been standing at such a distance
I care for you and was shielding
From shadows of darkness kissing
The people the ones I'm keeping connected inside the system
Promiscuous are these demons
But easy for you to miss them nigga
For you to miss them nigga

I know I miss them too
My eyes just graze the surface and I miss them too
I know I miss them too
Been walking blind so long with no peripheral