Salty MC - Breakdown Lyrics

Got some things I need to say
Pressures stacking up on me, feels like I'm gonna breakdown
Do 'em how they do me and it makes 'em feel a way
Liquour with promethezine, I'm nodding out face down
Say they're just a call away, they ain't round
Trying everything to cleanse this hatred out my heart
Take the rage and all the pain then rearrange it into art
Paint a vivid picture, every single lyric in my bars
Got a meaning, and they feel it cos it's really who I are
Nah my bad, I mean it's really who I am
25 but still a lost boy I feel like (Peter Pan), look!
Probably never should of dropped out of school, but I got hooked
To them lines, they took me higher then I got fried and I got cooked
I'm a Fish out of water, and my mind is not all good
Feels like I'm on my second life could probably write a couple books
Dealt with so much f*cking drama I could write a couple scripts
These psychiatrists don't listen, they just write a couple scripts
Then send me me on my way, my head still full of pain
It's from the pills you said to take, so why you questioning my weight loss?!
Griefs a deeper pain, I can't numb this shit with Painstop
"Dreaming about Heroin" like a Lana Del Rey song
"Flying to the moon again" can't regulate my moods again
Napping in December, open wide and it's June again
Looking like skeleton, they're all assuming I'm abusing meds
I'm hanging from a thread, just trying not to lose my head!
Lyrics hit their heart chakra, leave it activated
Every time I speak my truth on tracks they all look captivated
Never going backwards, only going back to basics
Breath of fresh air from all this cap rap about stabbing strangers
Real life they're basic, so basically they have to fake it
Cos if they spoke their truth in their music, the truths no one would play it
I've lost control, feeling broken, not the one to play with
Count me out the games and fake shit, act your age, that really ain't it
I help them with no questions asked, they help me with T's and C's
And it's got quotation marks 'round "help" cos it ain't helping me
Then they got to the cheek to say I'm selfish we.. (kisses teeth)
Both know that it's not true, but I could never let it get to me
They're still ticking boxes, guess that's why they're testing me
Never needed help from them, they always needed help from me
What they know bout fighting demons? I've been stuck in hell for weeks
Praying on my hands and knees to anything, JUST LET ME SLEEP
Trembling I scream, will this grief ever let me be?
Every time I think of Drew, feel a rope around my neck can't breathe
Muscles tighten up, stomach churning, I'm too tense to speak
Anxiety is peaking, I'm not okay and can't pretend to be
They hate me cos I don't pretend, I'm the person they pretend to be
Tell em they can SMD, i'm something that they'll never be
A good-hearted person, despite everything that's said 'bout me
And "If I Die Tonight" just know I'm eetswa, I'll be with DB