The S-Bends - Trainee Masseuse Lyrics

I bought some KY for your inner thigh
I heard it stops your undies chafing your chafe
Let me apply it, it'll be a riot
Nothing sexual just gotta get used to it for Tafe
I'm a trainee masseuse, dad thinks i'm a goose
Rubbing foreign liquids on strangers' flesh
But it's my passion, he's so old fashion
If your groin's tight we'll have a quick sesh

Relax, I'm just rubbing my fist into your buttock
I'm semi-pro, you could trust me with your life

By the time it's over the Cliffs of Dover
Will be your new scent and you'll spiritually ascend.
I'll rearrange your aura so it's shaped like a menorah
Then hopefully you get along better with your jewish friends
I'm not saying you're racist, it's just the way your moustache
Naturally grows makes me feel uneasy
I could give that a wax, Chaplin's probably expecting it back
And finish it all off with a game of Parcheesi

Relax, it's not like i'm a professional Parcheesi player
I'm semi pro, I'll go easy on you though
Rhe first few times

You'll never roll a five