Schubbz - "Schubbz" : reality atm Lyrics

I wanna make my own way in this society
It's all really trying me to be the best I want to be
But I am not a wannabe
Expressing my inner self, I am not with the wallowing
In my own sorrow, I know that there's tomorrow, however
I cannot stay here any longer
In this screwed up position
F*cked up decisions led to a sentence
Like a prison diagnosis from the system
That I am a bipolar schizo, really, whoa
I gotta take medication on the daily for the rest of my life
Notes were taken on me like I was a spectacle
They can ruin what you started
I thought of myself as an artist
Do I believe the doctors? I say "hell no"
Traumatic experience passed
But memories still leak back through my mental, like
I want them to know my life is set back, like
I want to not feel like they destroyed my life
Over some mistakes that I made with my own decisions
That led me to a sentence of life to take medication
This shit tragic
So hypercritical of myself for what happened
People other than myself are even less fortunate
However, the trauma of my past impacts my daily life
Often feeling like life is a lie and a knife at the same time
Because we all end up dead one day
Anyway, I seek to change my pride to release my inner light
I hope I could survive in a place where everything relies upon cash
Monetary value, shit's like a rash growing
In life I definitely crashed out like Chubbs in that song from K-Dot
Just relating my BS to that I can experience euphoria
The trauma from my life made me seek out marijuana
Where I continue to puff like Snoop Dogg
Knowing that the smoke will take me out one day
Which leads to paranoia, which started this whole cycle in the first place
Which is messed up because I remember being raised to stay clean and good
Which I am off alcohol, but I do nicotine and weed
The weed is wiping out my cash clean
But I am still up and I want people to know my story
Because I want my life to mean something
And that I could achieve glory