Doused Video (MV)

I remeber As a kid I wanted to be sick
Now im sicker then I wanna be honestly ive lost the grip
Often poppin all my pills ive gotten off the doctor shit
Too many f*ckin times ive woke in hospital and on the drip
Its why I stop the scripts fall into a manic state
Panic as anxiety inside of me attacks the way
I think inside my thoughts they distort into a massive blade
Staring at he sharp broken pieces when I smash a plate
My hands shake I was born like this
Parents close my bedroom door and ignored my fits
Never notice me missing when the dawn light hits
I guess the cheques from the government is all I is
I walk like this my head hunched as my shoulder blades
Carry like a hoarder all the hurt from the older days
Crumble under weight of the pressure coz im under weight
Sick of f*ckin waiting im a ledger all these drugs I take
Hate that i have to be strong when im not
Im sick of being judged every song that i drop
Like it has to be staunch bout a cunt that I dropped
Whilst inside I am hunched bout to jump with a knot
On my neck and I do not hope that it snap off
I hope that i choke and my head rip and snap off
Or Float bove the ground where im found out the back of
My house I dont want your help now f*ckin back off
Im hell bound not even jesus forgives the
Sucidial type were just pieces of shit
I never got support or belief as a kid
This is why I dont tour my releases are shit
Just shit stuffed in cases for shit cunts and haters
That discuss the latest spits pumped and rate us
I dont write for them or clicks up on pages
Nor few with views that kids under rate us
My sick lungs of hatered puke tracks and thoughts
Went im in the booth the roof cracks and falls
They want me to hush my crew packs the floors
I will shut my mouth if my huge sacks in yours
I fued back and fourth in my head space where death plays
Games with my mind as my stress places chest pains
Head aches followed by nose bleeds on jet planes
Hope that we crash and the rows seated ingest flames
No sleep its gets late spiders crawl upside the wall
Silently but I can hear their tiny feet n quiet talks
Try ignore the whispering but listen in and find of coarse
There never was no spiders just my minds a fly in webs of thoughts
Get the chalk severs on the edge I swear he end it all
Ghost writes the suicide letter like I pen'd it all
Id reach out for help but he rarely ever let me talk
Dont they f*ckin notice it aint me are they friends at all
Maybe they're fed up n bored of all my spits
I know that everybody hates it when I talk like this
I mean everybodies praying that I tore my wrists
And that im found in the morn infront of all my kids
I said Im sicker then I wanna be honestly ive lost the grip
Often poppin all the pills ive gotten off my doctor shit
Too many f*ckin times ive woke in hospital and on the drip
Im bout to f*ckin burn myself I dont know what my problem is