Smörgåsbord - WhereDaKeyz? Lyrics

Hey, guys, have you seen my keys
I can't find my keys, I, I-

Cardiovascular, my looks stop your heart (stroke)
My physique resembles mall cop Paul Blart
Your mom smells worse than a dog fart
My breakfast of choice is a lukewarm Pop Tart (blueberry)
Boom, bam, conquer Goliath like David (Bible)
Hey, what, goin' through the pantry, I raid it (snack time)
Huh, me, flow so low it's weighted (heavy)
Skrrra, ping, you know I stay medicated (DayQuil Severe)
Buying you food, I'm just tryna please ya
Must be allergic, you always sneeze ya
Bless you, as in suck my cock (pee-pee)
My kankles are big, they are hard as a rock
But would you be shocked
That if when I talked
All I could is make your hoe squawk? (SQUAW)
I am gay for slices of pizza
And pizza is gay for me, too

Hey, Risky
Yeah, Gub?
I don't know, think I might go hard
F*ck it
Do it

I don't give a f*ck about this rap shit
Gimme a mic so I can rap, bitch
I ain't very good, I just rap shit
But I still be lookin' to rap, so I just rap shit, rap, bitch
Gunnin' for the top, call me Maverick (Top Gun)
We about safe sex, so I wrap it (condoms)
You be outdated like a dab, bitch (don't dab on 'em)
You be thinkin' you got a baddie, but she average (like a 6)
Still might take her back to the lab, bitch (ay, c'mere)
Yeah, it's N'Korekt, can't you tell by the bars (Bars)
If you got a problem, then we spar (Karate)
I'm a god of war like Mars (Ares)
Bars, I got bars upon bars (that's a lotta bars)
I got cars upon cars upon cars (that's a lotta cars)
Okay, nah, I just got the one (Honda)
But it's reliable and affordable and it heats my buns (buns)
Trisha and her friends still wanna give me lip kisses
I be cookin' up in the lab but I ain't cookin' chicken (ay, what, whoa, huh)
I'm cookin' bars, or maybe some Mac'n'Cheese
I bag your bitch at the door and I ain't even gotta say please (huh, what, huh, wait)
Bitch, you bald, call you Vin Diesel
Come to your block lookin' to pop a weasel
Bitch, I stay doggin' like a Beagle but I'm real regal
Your bitch is my muse, and I need me an easel

Hey guys
Ugh
I was wondering if maybe I could record a verse
Jesus, Hank, you give me migraines
F*ck no
(Ayo, bro, bro my vision's purple right now)
(How do you do that?)
F*ck you
I'mma go ham
(This is the one)

I spit fire like Spyro (Spyro)
She's like cipro, no typo (typo)
She ain't really my type, though (B positive)
Pockets fat like they need lypo (ugh)
You can talk it way slow, though (slow, though)
Internet, do some promo (cha-ching)
I just need a lotta dough, bro
Icy wrist like FroYo (ouch)
Please call me, what is the sitch
Cookin' up potions, just like a witch
All these honeys on my body, just like the powder I use for my itch (unh)
Brand new shoes, I take a trip
Sweeter than the tea I sip
Catch these hands, man, get a grip
Trade some shit in like a chip

Bpphppphppph
Haha