ADHD Video (MV)

This is what it's like
Having ADHD
It 's kinda fun
Sometimes
It's an all or nothing game
So I'm the worst or I'm the best
My competitive nature ends up getting in the way
No balance, no in between
A challenge I have to live
Obsessed with something new each week
I'm hyper focused till I reach
Perfection, maybe it's OCD
But no, it just ADHD
A blessing, maybe a curse
Depressing, is there a cure?
Work too hard or not at all
The dopamine eventually wears off
If I'm not doing what I want
It's always difficult to start
Feeling anything and everything
Or not feeling at all
Its either hypersensitivity
Or just completely numb
The all or nothing game
Hyperactivity
I can be really vain
I can be really insecure
Just give me the reassurance
And I'll stop bothering you
It's what lets me sleep at night
Oh that 's right! forgot about that
I either dream so vividly
Or don't dream about anything
But mostly nightmares honestly
I kinda like them. Is it weird?
What's weird is that I have energy even if I didn't sleep you wouldn't understand, it's an ADHD thing
The internal monologue
That's never able to shut the f*ck up
And that one f*cking song
Always playing the same f*cking part
Always anxious
Always scared
I'll turn it off
And disassociate
And yeah, that's probably unhealthy
But I didn't choose this illness
So f*ck it
Boredom is a tragedy
Creativity is a must
And it needs to keep me interested
If not then I get lost
In another life
I created in my mind
Im able to remember random things
Extremely specific memories
But wait... Again?! Where did I leave my f*cking keys?
I swear I left them over here
"You're so talented!
What can't you do?"
I always do everything
Except what I have to... whoops!
"How do you even work in school?
I see you passing every test
It must be really really cool
Not studying but still being the best!"
Well...i'll try to explain
You see
Doing all the assignments right until the night before
"What?! But you had about two months?" yeah...
I work better under pressure, I get 100s so it works
Yeah but at what cost?
I end up hyperfixating and my jaw begins to hurt
Procrastinating's fun
But don't worry I'll get it done
Always feeling shame
That why I try to compensate
By knowing everything of anything
By always being the best
I feel better 'bout myself
But I can't be by myself
Hello we just met, nice to meet you, how's your day?
Here's every overwhelming little detail about me.
My hobbies, my trauma, mental illness, even my ex
Shit! I really need to stop oversharing everything
Have I not stopped talking?
Have I even said a word at all?
"Today you're looking awfully quiet"
"Can you tone it down a little bit, your kinda shouting"
"Hey do you not like me anymore?"
How do I tell them that it's not
That it's not that I don't miss them
I forgot that you existed
Out of sight, out of life
I tend to forget some things like that
Oh but here's a random useless fact
Kubrik died in 1999
Sorry, I won't do it
Unless at the ends a price
Because rewards help me get through it
They make me feel satisfied
I prefer the smaller task
Trust me
I'll do the big essay last
Overthinking, conscious blinking
Competition for ambition
Motivations an adicción
Give me, give me more attention!
Random boost of energy
Heavy pulse, anxiety
Overused apologies
Lots of overeating
Is it obvious that I live
In constant battle with ED's
My whole personality
Comes from my ADHD
But I'm ok with that
I am
I am