I watched the empire fall while I was waiting on a tire rotation. Or was it on the day that I met my exe's shaman? Either way it's just a bit mundane. I remember as a kid -- mobile classroom holding hands. Young christians with good intentions calling for a stranger's head. I found it all just a bit too much. So I got stoned to laugh it off. I coughed up blood on the casino tile. Red and white just like the fear that's in my eyes. I can see the things I've wasted, and that I'm a part of the equation. It's corrective lens and chipped glass. Rubber bullets flying by. It's someone drowning in the tear gas. Hum along to the hypersonic cry. Saying "come eat us alive!" It's a childhood friend holding tight onto his gun. Wrote a letter to a judge to try to help him keep his son, and now he's in an unmarked van stealing children off the street. So I got stoned and opened up my mouth. Feigned surprise when no sound came out. It feels like clawing out my eyes. The knowing nod and the urge to disappear again. So I kill the things I wanted. Collective shrug. The pendulum swings. It's like I'm fighting off the bends and singing. Asking aloud, "What about me? Don't I deserve to be happy?" "Your happiness is a war crime when there's 10k more on the chalk lines." I wish they'd come in the night and let the optimist die. Pray to god that we go quick. Let's not romanticize about it. Just let the noise of the feedback start to rise. It still is the way it is. It had to balance in the end. And we're a part of the equation.