Stevie Gardner - Dear John Lyrics

This is the tale of a friend of mine
Once he boasted to his brother, that a bottle would be fine
Now we're not talking beer, cider or wine
We're talking whiskey, and a bottle he could drink just fine, just fine
So his brother's at a house party and decided to say
Whilst our hero is back home watching Match of the day
The phone call was made and the offer was laid
On the table, to see if he was able
To drink a whole bottle of whiskey
He wouldn't even get tipsy
Let's go get my trainers on
I wont mention no names, cos that would be wrong
So i'll just choose a random one and i'll call him John
So 5 minutes later John shows up
And starts pouring some whiskey into a cup
It didn't take him long to finish the lot
He even said he had room for another shot
A whole bottle of whiskey
He wouldn't even get tipsy
Let's go take my trainers off
So the brother gets a phone call the following day
From the party host and he's got something to say
He said that John he needs to apologise
For what they witnessed with their own eyes, oh my
He was sick on the settee and spewed behind the door
Even the curtains and splattered all over the floor
But it cant be me, he said
After the football I went straight to bed
So tell me this then John
Where have your trainers gone?
The reason you cant find your trainers, you'll have to buy new
They're still at the house party but they're covered in spew
A whole bottle of whiskey
He wouldn't even get tipsy
Let's go get my trainers now
Dear John, a whole bottle of whiskey
He wouldn't even get tipsy
Let's go get my trainers now
Dear John, where have your trainers gone?
Dear John, where have your trainers gone?