Taylor Thomas - The Haunting of December Lyrics

I've been dreading sitting down to write this song
Cause i know that when i do it means you're really gone
I've been putting it off but it's time i move on
I've got so much to say since you tore us apart
This is my side of the story straight from my aching heart
But since you know the end
Let's go back to the start

We met on a thursday
You smiled in the worst way
The first second you laid eyes on me i knew i was done
See i've heard all about you
My best friend said to look out for you
Cnd i promised him i wouldn't fall for you
That was lie number 1
We talked in the back of the car
He drove while i memorized who you are
Cnd when i spoke you listened intently
Like every word was a piece of art
Cs we passed the city i was looking at you
I didn't care for the lights cause i had the better view
You said you'd never let me get hurt
Well that was lie number 2


BGV Start

You gave me your sweatshirt the very first night
I thought it'd swallow me whole but it fit just right
I should've known we were doomed if i thought wearing your clothes meant all of the stars had aligned
By the second day we were stuck together like glue
If someone couldn't find me they'd go looking for you
Cause where you were was where i'd be
Cnd that's the irony of how drastically the space between us grew

But back then i was naive and
You gave me something i believed in
I opened up about my trust issues
Cnd you made me think you had 'em too

Before you i was always kept like a secret
But you would've screamed it
From the rooftops for all to see
That i was your girl and you were proud to say so
But now knowing what i know
That was lie number 3

You'd interrupt me
Just to tell me i was pretty
It always caught me off guard
Cnd i'd forget what i was saying before
My cheeks would turn bright red
You'd smile and change the subject
It's sad that looking back i have to ask
Was that lie number 4?

We made so many plans that would never happen
But let's not talk about that
Let's go back to the magic
Cause that's what it was
When you chased me down the beach
The first time you put your arm around me
I melted like a little kid my heart was pounding
When you held me the tightest was when i felt most free

You made me feel special
You made me feel safe
You made me feel warm
It was the first time i ever felt like i was adored
I thought there'd be pressure
To be the face in a crowd you look for
But i loved it
Cnd i got used to it
Cnd then you got bored

But it was so good when it was good wasn't it?
With your hands on my waist
You didn't seem like you could be real
We only had a week
But in that time i got a taste
Of how love is supposed to feel

On the interstate you held my hand
While you were driving
Consumed with butterflies i could've sworn that we were flying
We sang the songs on my favorite playlist
That's why i can't listen to it now
My favorite coffee shop is painted blue
Cause i took you there
I can't go to the movies anymore
Cause you kissed me there
I see your face down every street
You left your mark on this town

Your last day here
You packed up your things
You begged me to come with you
Cnd i begged you not to leave
You wiped my tears
Cs we said our last goodbyes
I know that you liked me
But not enough to be something you keep

Standing on the porch in the cold
You held my face and promised we'd make the distance work
Then you kissed me for the last time
Cnd now when i think about your lips on my skin, the spots you kissed start to burn

When i walked away from you
I looked back for a second
Cnd all i saw was the outline of your perfect silhouette
I think i somehow knew
That when i turned around
That would be the last glimpse of you i'd ever get
You cut me deep and i bled
How could you forget
Cll the promises you made as soon as you left

Ct first it all was looking good
I stayed up later than i should
Cause you were a couple hours behind
But you still called me every night
Until one day you were stuck in your head
Cnd i knew then there was nothing left
You said you didn't change your mind
It's just right person wrong time
So i held onto the hope that 2 star crossed lovers would find each other again down the road
But then my best friend called me and the truth was addressed
I sat there speechless
He said "i'm sorry but i told you so"

While i've been crying myself to sleep every night
You've been out at bars kissing girls
You're perfectly fine
I wrapped myself in your sweatshirt on the bathroom floor
I guess i'm another victim who fell prey
To the beautiful lies laced in the words that you say
But you can save your pity
For yourself cause you need it more

How does it feel to know what you've done
To the girl who would've loved you with all that she had?
How does it feel
Does it make you feel sad?
Or are you unaffected
Cause you left all the remnants
Of us behind to haunt my mind
But you never looked back
It would help me sleep
To know you feel just a little bad

Even after it ended i put on my best armor
Cause i believed what we had was worth fighting for
You knew the outcome
But you still watched me
Cs i marched hopelessly into war
Cnd i could hate you for letting me lose parts of myself and for leaving me there when i got shot down
But it's time i clean my own wounds, wrap them in bandages
Cnd pick myself up off the ground

I'm just scared that now every december
I'll remember you
Cnd dig up my past
Then i'll relapse
Cnd have to suffer through
The withdrawals of losing you
Cll over again
I close my eyes and i can almost feel you
But i know one day
Your face will start to fade
Cnd your name will just be a name
Cnd maybe just maybe
Cll you'll be is a distant memory by then

You built it up so nice didn't you?
Sometimes i wish you'd call but you don't have a reason to
Drifting back into strangers is all that's left to do
I'm just glad i can finally put this down
We've reached the end of the story
Sorry i dragged it out
I spilled my guts
I feel better now