Bad news, The Simpsons has gone woke
Bad news, Frasier has gone woke what is a boy to do?
Your neighbours have gone woke, your friends and family have gone woke
I am the only one you can trust, because I will never, ever go woke
And I'm the only one who calls out all the bullshit
Doing your own research means listening to me skim-reading the first three results on Google
And the number goes up
Bad news, your treasured childhood memories are now woke
Bad news, your credit card details are now woke, and you should send them to me for safe disposal
Your sick elderly cat is now woke, your beloved family dog is now woke
Your limbs have developed a mind of their own, and you guessed it, they are now woke
And I'm the only one who's brave enough to do this
Cranks from both sides of the aisle fight to the death in a meeting of minds
And the number goes up"