Don't Know How To Feel Video (MV)

They say they love me
But based on how I perceive it
The sad thing is I never truly believed it
I got a question
Is it based off achievement?
Cause I remember them nights I spent alone
They said it's lonely at the top and I believe it
Cause when you make it to the top they want a loan
So the money probably makes a happy family
But the money don't equal a happy home
The compliments don't even matter no more
Be honest I ain't even flattered no more
Cause I don't even know what's real no more
I don't even know how to feel no more
I don't even know how to feel no more
I don't even know how to
Deal with this new perception of my successes
See me out in New York
See me out Texas
See me as a superstar
See me as a rapper
See me as their inspiration
See me as a pastor
See me as a innovator
See me as a leader
See me as a light
Or the voice of the people
Seeing me as everything else except human
They'll trade our relationship for my influence
I never do complain when they take more
I convinced myself that this what comes with all I prayed for
I just keep my mouth shut and then I face forward
Cause the jobs with the most stress pay more
And the ones that get the most rest pay for it
I'd rather be the one to give than have to scrape for it
But lending out too much leave the same void
And they keeping all receipts
That way you can't ignore it
The compliments don't even matter no more
Be honest I ain't even flattered no more
Cause I don't even know what's real no more
I don't even know how to feel no more
I don't even know how to feel no more
I don't even know how to
Too many guilt trips
I need a vacation
Phone off, passport, and a beach resort
Instead they always leave me feeling out of place
Only thing I do resort to is my own remorse
But they only check in when the checks in
Old friends turn to dead ends when the check end
These the type of problems I just gotta face alone
That's why I'm keeping to myself and rather stay at home
And now I'm conscious of the burdens I been taking on
Cause people drain you for their gain and then they send you on
The giving is good
The problem is that I don't hesitate
Even when it compromise a healthy living state
I'll drag us all to the win
But it's a heavy weight
To be the one to build the table and to fix the plates
I talk to God cause he the only one could lift me up
Cause for some reason doing good ain't never good enough
They say they love me
But based on how I perceived it
The sad thing is I never truly believe it
I got a question
Is it based off achievement?
Cause I remember them nights I spent alone
They said it's lonely at the top and I believe it
Cause when you make it to the top they want a loan
So the money probably makes a happy family
But the money don't equal a happy home
The compliments don't even matter no more
Be honest I ain't even flattered no more
Cause I don't even know what's real no more
I don't even know how to feel no more
I don't even know how to feel no more
I don't even know how to