You can say my negativity was the thing that made it start
That because of my failures you're broken apart
That since i lack any proper goals to fulfill
I kill your time and mine, undermining your will
Can you understand why i don't believe your claim
Why all your different depictions of me seem the same
Like a disembodied evil acting a self destrucive arc
Like a faceless abuser that only plays a part
You can claim my instability was the start of your descent
When i made you do me favours that filled your heart with contempt
In shameful situations you'd preferred not to take place
The situations you'd forget but your mind wont erase
Many different sorts of situations stuck in your head
That you're supposed to distain but long for instead
You survive by putting your feelings and thoughts in some other place
So that the shame and hurt and solutions get erased
The infatuated widower was messing up again
Using long lost love to excuse his attempts
To close off from reality putting a mask up for his friends
He had decided his truth that he used to pretend
That he had found true love in some sort of long lost past
Some sort of all mighty memory that could never come back
The sort of love that he could not re claim or restart
That could drench out his present and contain his heart
Though he didn't see it in this way he felt all the same
And all unresolved issues bundled up in his brain
He thought he made good amends by working enough to make it far
But he built his life around a self made scar