Tim Minchin - If I Didn't Have You Lyrics

Yeah, yeah
If I didn't have you

If I didn't have you to hold me tight (if I didn't have you)
If I didn't have you to lie with at night (when I'm feelin' blue)
If I didn't have you to share my sighs
And to kiss me and dry my tears when I cry
Well I really think that I would have somebody else

If I didn't have you, someone else would do

Our love is one in a million, you couldn't buy it at any price
But of the nine point nine nine nine
Hundred thousand other possible loves
Statistically some of them would be equally nice
Or maybe not as nice but say smarter than you
Or dumber but better at sport or tracing
I'm just saying I really think that I would probably have somebody else

Yeah

If I didn't have you, someone else would do

If I were a rich man, diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle dum
I guess I could be with a surgeon or a model
Or a reli of the royals or a Kennedy
Or a nymphomaniacal exhibitionist heiress to a large chain of hotels
If I were a rich man maybe I would fiddle
Fiddle diddle diddle with them rich man girls
I'm not saying that I'd not love you if I were wealthy or handsome
But realistically there's lots of fish in the sea,
And if I had a different rod I would conceivably land some.
Even though I am fiscally consistently pitiable
And considerably less Brad Pitt than Brad Pitiful
Am I really so poor and ugly that you
Think only you could possibly love me?
And I really think that I would probably have somebody else

And look I'm not undervaluing what we've got when I say
That given the role chaos inevitably plays
And the inherently flawed notion of fate
It's abstruse to deduce I found my soul mate at the age of 17
It's just mathematically unlikely that at a university in Perth
I happened to stumble on the one girl on earth
Definitively designed for me

And if I may conjecture a further objection
Love is nothing to do with destined perfection
The connection is strengthened; the affection simply grows over time
Like a flower or a mushroom or a guinea pig or a vine
Or a sponge or bigotry or a banana
And love is made more powerful by the ongoing
Drama of shared experience
And the synergy of a kind of symbiotic empathy or something...

So I trust it goes without saying that I would feel really very sad
If tomorrow you were to fall off something high or catch something bad
But I'm just saying I don't think you're special
I mean I think you're special but you fall within a bell curve
I mean I'm just saying I really think that I would
Probably have somebody else

I think you are unique and beautiful
You make me happy just by being around
But objectively you would have to agree that baby when I found you
Options were relatively thin on the ground
You're lovely but there must be girls as lovely as you
And maybe more open to spanking or table tennis
I'm just saying I really think that I would probably have somebody else

I mean I reckon it's pretty likely that
If for example my first girlfriend Jackie
Hadn't dumped me after I kissed Winston's ex-girlfriend Nia
At Steph's party back in 1993
Enough variables would probably have been altered
By the absence of that event
To have meant the advent of a tangential narrative in which we don't meet
Which is to say that there exists a
Theoretical, hypothetical, parallel life
Where what is, is not as it is and I'm not your husband
And you are not my wife
And I am a stuntman living in LA
Married to a small blonde Portuguese skier
Who when she's not training does abstract paintings
Practices yoga and brews her own beer
And really likes making home movies and suffers neck-down alopecia

But with all my heart and all my mind I know one thing is true
I have just one life and just one love and my love that love is you
And if it wasn't for you, darling you
I really think that I would probably have somebody else

Yeah

If I didn't have you someone else would do