A Portrait Of Me Video (MV)

Grab the quill, lets distill my own secrets, I hold so dear
Open the door to the way that I feel
So unfortunate drawing this portrait
And it's like I'm extorting, my own exhaustion Open up every drawer inside my closet
They're all just filled with my dark clothing
Put them all and bask in my self-loathing

And I'm on the edge, and I pledge to make amends Before I'm dead, there it's said, I'm irate
I'll elate, till I rid of my hate
And I'm not okay, I'm done pretending to be
I solely pray for the day that I heal
I'm turning into some sort of corpse
Da Vinci studying me, for sure

Inside my head, is a waging war
Tired of trying to keep the score
Avoiding whores, can I do it anymore?
But hold on, wait, caught a break
Now that I think clear, drawing a portrait of me Just seems extremely easy
Eh-hee, eh-hee, eh-hee

And I bet he's aching that Irish painter
Francis Bacon ain't got shit on me to fake it
Writing my own faults to face em
I think to myself where wrong did I go
Like the ear of Sir Vincent Van Gogh
What it feels to be inside my brain
Is a claustrophobic trapped in a,
Confined place that you can't escape

And I've wasted so much time
Not letting go but looking behind
Salvador Dali crying inside
And he's turning in his grave
As I'm brushing a painting away
My own portraits of my pain
Same O' Same, oh what a shame damn

Built a body muscular
But I'm still that insecure
Little fat kid back at school
Without any friends at all
Years away from being cool
Man, this shit is personal
But for now, I'm twenty-four
Young as f*ck, but I feel so old

And I'm even turning colder
Than I was before
My heart is a f*cking iceberg
Using my own pain as swords
Breaking my own guard with words
Now my hands are filled with thorns
Can not draw a thing at all
Calypso, man, f*ck you, you whore

I'm a recluse, heads in a noose
Face still wet from the Morning Dews
I'm tired of trying to prove myself
And I'm tired of trying to prove that I'm worth
Imma make you all you hoes eat dirt
For the way that you made me feel
What I felt, it was so dark and so berserk
It kind of went something like this

I wish I can disappear
Grab all my memories that I hold dear
Burn them to ashes in the atmosphere
Man, I wish I wasn't here
I wish my thoughts weren't so dark
And they had such a hold on me
I wish I could invite you all to see
What I feel internally

And be controlled by your fear
I don't wish on my enemies
Locked in my mind, I've lost the key
But previously, that part of me
Ran in me so joyfully, I lost the taste to be happy, Tryna draw a portrait of me
From memory just seem so incomplete

Inside my head, is a waging war
Tired of trying to keep the score
Avoiding whores, can I do it anymore?
But hold on, wait, caught a break
Now that I think clear, drawing a portrait of me Just seems extremely easy
Eh-hee, eh-hee, eh-hee

Inside my head, is a waging war
Tired of trying to keep the score
Avoiding whores, can I do it anymore?
But hold on, wait, caught a break
Now that I think clear, drawing a portrait of me Just seems extremely easy
Eh-hee, eh-hee, eh-hee