Todd Barriage - Ruin Everything Lyrics

Fourteen hour days
I work so hard because I hate myself
And I know what you'll say, but it's true
See, if I take any time for myself
Even one day
All my fears will catch up
They won't go away
And these thoughts all come crashing in
And they all say
"You're not alright at all,
I can't stand to be around you"

I feel like I ruin everything
And I don't know if I'll get through this
I feel like I ruin everything
And I don't know if I can do this
To myself

I've seen better days
My eyes didn't always look so sunk in
And these white hairs aren't from my age
I've been grey since 22
I spent the better half of my life in the worst shape
Running from my mistakes like they'll go away
And these songs won't stop me from not being okay
I'm not alright at all

(Nothing's ever enough)
And the voice in the back of my mind is saying
(I'm not alright, nothing's ever enough)
I can't stand to be around you

I feel like I ruin everything
And I don't know if I'll get through this
I feel like I ruin everything
And I don't know if I can do this
To myself

I spent three hours in the shower today
Just zoning out and breathing
My thoughts get pretty sick, it worries me
Like, maybe I'm all alone in this world
Or maybe this is as good as it gets or
Or maybe that's it, and there's nothing more
And it's my own f*cking fault that I'm a mess

I feel like I ruin everything
And I don't know if I'll get through this
I feel like I ruin everything
And I don't know if I can do this
To myself