Tom Lehrer - All is Well Lyrics

Hello, hello, James? Tell me, what's new?
I've been away two weeks or so
And that is why I'm calling you
For any news that I should know

Everything's fine, madame la marquise
Everything's fine, and all is well
There's just one thing I'll mention, if you please
Although there isn't much to tell

Of no concern, it must be said
Just that your old gray mare is dead
Apart from that, madame la marquise
Things are just fine, and all is well

Hello, hello, Martin? Tell me, what's new?
My faithful coachman, have you heard?
My mare is dead, I'm asking you
How such a thing could have occurred?

There 's nothing wrong, madame la marquise
Everything's fine, and all is well
There 's just one thing I'll mention, if you please
Although there isn 't much to tell

Yes, in the fire she was found
That burned your stables to the ground
Apart from that, madame la marquise
Everything's fine, and all is well

Hello, hello, Pascal? Tell me, what's new?
My stables burned? How can that be?
My faithful chef, now how can that be true?
Can you explain all this to me?

There's nothing wrong, madame la marquise
Everything's fine , and all is well
There's just one thing I'll mention, if you please
Although there isn't much to tell

The flames that burned the stables so
Came from the fire in the chateau
Apart from that, madame la marquise
Things are just fine, and all is well

Hello, hello, Lucas? Tell me, what's new?
What I've just heard has staggered me
Is our chateau in ruins too?
What could have caused this tragedy?

Well, it's like this, madame, what can I say?
The marquis nearly had a stroke
He took his life, and on the very day
That he found out that he was broke

But in his rush to kill himself
He knocked some candles off a shelf
The fae then began to grow
And soon destroyed the whole chateau
The wind was strong and in a flash
The stables too were turned to ash

And just a moment then and there
Was all it took to kill your mare
Apart from that, madame la marquise
Things are just fine, and all is well