Traa - 18 Lyrics

This might be the realest shit I ever wrote
F*ck
Losing my trust, losing my love
Lost the ability to give a f*ck
Losing my mind and I'm feeling so stuck
Ran it up, ran it up, got me a buck
I'm losing my time, losing my life
Been trying to find it, but I'm not alright
Since I've been sober, I'm feeling this strife
What I would do to get back to my vice
Doctors said not to because I might die
Up in my bed with the shivers, I cry
The withdrawal is killing me late in the night
I have to suffer, just to survive
Through my life, it been a struggle
Working so hard, I've been burning the muscle
Keep in the feelings, I put on my muzzle
But I've been over it, sick of the struggle (Look)
I watched my dad kill himself to survive
Thank God he's breathing and that he's alive
I watched my mother break down as she cried
Gave her my shoulder, set aside my pride
I saw my sister lose all of her charm
I used to drink and cut up my arms
My mama found me, said she was alarmed
Said my oldest son, don't ever harm
Stuck in a nightmare
Stuck in a daydream
Asking God why me?
I'm only f*cking 18
Like, where did the time go
Breaking down and don't nobody know
Put this noose around my throat
18 is as far as I'll go
(Asking god why me?)
(I'm only f*cking 18)
(Put this noose around my throat)
(18 is as far as I'll go)
Lost all my confidence
Facing the consequence
Looking for prominence
Isee no promises
Looking for innocence
But then I sin again
Father, forgive me for all of my impotence
I lost my role model to a damn bottle
Picked up the phone and I pushed in the throttle
I blame the liquor for pulling the trigger
I know that you hear me, I know that you linger
And brother, I miss you, I wish you were here
Know you could tell me what I need to hear
I've only been here for 18 years
But I done shedded, way too many f*cking tears
(I've only been here for 18 years)
(But I done, but I done)
(But I done shedded, way too many f*cking tears)
Stuck in a nightmare
Stuck in a daydream
Asking God why me?
I'm only f*cking 18
Like, where did the time go
Breaking down and don't nobody know
Put this noose around my throat
18 is as far as I'll go
(Asking god why me?)
(I'm only f*cking 18)
(Put this noose around my throat)
(18 is as far as I'll go)
(Asking god why me?)
(I'm only f*cking 18)
(Put this noose around my throat)
(18 is as far as I'll go)