Willy Wonka: Bad Boss? Video (MV)

I don't get the movie Willy Wonka And the Chocolate Factory.
There's no real transition for that.
How would you want me to get Out of the suicide joke?
I got to do something else.

Yeah, you're seeing a lot of Behind the scenes of this set.
I don't really get the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
That movie doesn't really make Sense to me.
Everything after the first five Minutes is a very weird movie.

The first five minutes kind of Makes sense.
It's basically a movie about a guy, Who decides to retire
From being the CEO of a Chocolate factory.
I kinda get that, that kind of Makes sense.

You've been working all your life,
You might want to retire.
Everything after that is a very Weird decision-making process.
Because here's what he said.

He said to himself, he's like
"Alright, I'm the CEO of this Chocolate factory.
I'm going to retire.
I'm going to choose a replacement CEO.

I'm going to do that using a Lottery system.
And I'm going to make it a lottery Only accessible to children."
How do you think the Vice President of the chocolate factory Felt upon hearing that news?

Because I guarantee you that's got to be some oompa-loompa named Stuart.
Probably spent like 26 years with The company.
Worked his way from the mail room all the way to the VP's office.
And I'm sure Stuart lost a lot along the way.

Stuart probably had a wife, Probably had a kid.
One day, they confront him.
They say, "Stuart, we don't want,
We want you in this house

We don't want you being a Part-Time husband or Part-Time father
Working these 80-hour weeks.
We need you in this house making this family better.
We don't want your money.

We want you.
Stuart looked his wife dead in her eyes.
And said, "Bitch, you don't understand.
I'm trying to break this glass Ceiling for oompa-loompas Everywhere."

And his wife and his son just left One day.
But Stuart's mind is like, it's going To be OK
Because one day, I'm going to Become CEO of the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory.
So he keeps working, he keeps Working, he keeps doing his job.

And then all of a sudden, one day, He hears rumors that Willy Wonka's leaving the factory.
And then he gets a phone call From Willy Wonka's secretary
Saying, "Mr. Wonka would like to see you in his office."

All of a sudden, Stuart gets Butterflies in his stomach
Because he knows today's the day.
Today's the day he's going to FINALLY become CEO of the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory.
So he goes to Willy's office-

Willy sits him down.
Says, "Stuart, I'm sure you've heard the news.
I'm leaving.
I found a replacement.

And it's a really cool 10-year-old I Met today."
I guarantee you Stuart killed Himself right on the spot.
That's the only way that story Could go.
Also, I don't really think Charlie Was that good of a choice for CEO.

He wasn't the smartest 10-year-old in town.
He was just the smartest 10-year-old out of six other 10-year-olds.
That's not that good of a search.
I don't even know if he was the smartest.

He was just the poorest.
He was the poorest child in near visibility.
Also, the movie ends on a high Note for Charlie,
But I don't think his life ends on One.

I guarantee you he died of a Cocaine overdose at age 25.
Same way Justin Bieber's going to Go.
You don't give poor kids that Much money and expect shit to be Okay.
That's not how it goes.

We've seen the story a million Times.
I'm sorry if you like Justin Bieber.
Just say goodbye.
That's all I'm trying to tell you.

He doesn't have long for this Earth.
Tell Bieber you love him.
But you don't give poor kids that much money and expect shit to be Okay.
It's a bad story.

We've seen it a million times Before.
Here's the thing, though.
I've spent, I don't know, three or Four minutes
Talking about the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory movie.

Never once watched it.
Never once seen the movie in my Entire life.
I put this joke together using Context clues.
I have no idea if any of the things I said are really accurate.

I dedicated a good portion of my Set to a movie I've never bothered To watch.
What was I thinking?
Alright, okay.