(Performed by Fred Applegate (Constable Joe), Michael Wartella (Hugo)
Hugo:
Look at him go!
I'd hate to let him get too far ahead...
Constable Joe:
Well, a fella dressed in yellow isn't gonna be too hard to track
Hugo:
Sure isn't a nice yellow
Constable Joe:
Hugo,
There's not such thing as nice yellow
I don't know, Hugo, I gotta bad feeling it's all gonna come apart like wet bread
[sung]
You can't trust a man dressed in yellow
Hugo,
Only a rogue wears that hue
A man who is fondest
Of suits that are jaundest
Puts the yoke on him
And the joke
On you
They're tricksy,
All men dressed in yellow,
Something deadly in their livelihood
He must be compensating
Hugo:
Also fabricating
Constable Joe:
[laughs]
Hugo,
There you go again!
"Fabricating"
If he hated the fabric he would have never bought the suit
[sung]
He must be compensating
Hugo:
Also,
Lying
Both: 'bout why he wants the Foster's wood
Constable Joe:
Oh you can't trust a man dressed in yellow
That I knew from his very first "hello"
I should have locked him in a cell, oh
Both:
You can't trust a man-
Hugo:
From the carnival!
Constable Joe:
Also,
Carnival men can't be trusted
Something wicked there brews underneath
Those inbreds' regalia
With mad backanalia
They all share, maybe, eight teeth
I say,
Carnival men can't be trusted!
Flashy hobos, invading our towns
They ask my permission
To charge an admission
To expose us to Charlatans, acrobats and-
[stuttering]
c-c-clu
Hugo:
Clowns, sir?
Constable Joe:
[exhales deeply]
I hate them
Carnival men can't be trusted!
They're all acutely maladjusted
Who knows how their funnel cakes is dusted
Both:
No you can't trust a man-
Hugo:
With a bad handshake!
Constable Joe:
Did you notice his peculiar handshake?
His fingers neither flaccid nor firm
Hugo:
Like touching a porpoise
Constable Joe:
No, maybe a Scorpus
Keep that fish-
Hugo: Mammal
Constable Joe:
From serving full term.
Bad handshake, bad man
Both:
Watching if his grip lacks a squeeze
Constable Joe:
And a carnival man can't be trusted
Hugo:
As shifty as a swinging trapeze
Both:
And you can't trust a man dressed in yellow!
Even if you love cheddar cheese
You'll see the recipe,
One bad man
One bad man
One bad man
Constable Joe:
Come along, Hugo
Let's pick up the pace.
Tuck Everlasting the Musical - You Cant Trust a Man Lyrics
Tuck Everlasting the Musical - You Cant Trust a Man Lyrics
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We currently do not have these lyrics.
If you would like to submit them, please use the form below.
(Performed by Fred Applegate (Constable Joe), Michael Wartella (Hugo)
Hugo:
Look at him go!
I'd hate to let him get too far ahead...
Constable Joe:
Well, a fella dressed in yellow isn't gonna be too hard to track
Hugo:
Sure isn't a nice yellow
Constable Joe:
Hugo,
There's not such thing as nice yellow
I don't know, Hugo, I gotta bad feeling it's all gonna come apart like wet bread
[sung]
You can't trust a man dressed in yellow
Hugo,
Only a rogue wears that hue
A man who is fondest
Of suits that are jaundest
Puts the yoke on him
And the joke
On you
They're tricksy,
All men dressed in yellow,
Something deadly in their livelihood
He must be compensating
Hugo:
Also fabricating
Constable Joe:
[laughs]
Hugo,
There you go again!
"Fabricating"
If he hated the fabric he would have never bought the suit
[sung]
He must be compensating
Hugo:
Also,
Lying
Both: 'bout why he wants the Foster's wood
Constable Joe:
Oh you can't trust a man dressed in yellow
That I knew from his very first "hello"
I should have locked him in a cell, oh
Both:
You can't trust a man-
Hugo:
From the carnival!
Constable Joe:
Also,
Carnival men can't be trusted
Something wicked there brews underneath
Those inbreds' regalia
With mad backanalia
They all share, maybe, eight teeth
I say,
Carnival men can't be trusted!
Flashy hobos, invading our towns
They ask my permission
To charge an admission
To expose us to Charlatans, acrobats and-
[stuttering]
c-c-clu
Hugo:
Clowns, sir?
Constable Joe:
[exhales deeply]
I hate them
Carnival men can't be trusted!
They're all acutely maladjusted
Who knows how their funnel cakes is dusted
Both:
No you can't trust a man-
Hugo:
With a bad handshake!
Constable Joe:
Did you notice his peculiar handshake?
His fingers neither flaccid nor firm
Hugo:
Like touching a porpoise
Constable Joe:
No, maybe a Scorpus
Keep that fish-
Hugo: Mammal
Constable Joe:
From serving full term.
Bad handshake, bad man
Both:
Watching if his grip lacks a squeeze
Constable Joe:
And a carnival man can't be trusted
Hugo:
As shifty as a swinging trapeze
Both:
And you can't trust a man dressed in yellow!
Even if you love cheddar cheese
You'll see the recipe,
One bad man
One bad man
One bad man
Constable Joe:
Come along, Hugo
Let's pick up the pace.
Hugo:
Look at him go!
I'd hate to let him get too far ahead...
Constable Joe:
Well, a fella dressed in yellow isn't gonna be too hard to track
Hugo:
Sure isn't a nice yellow
Constable Joe:
Hugo,
There's not such thing as nice yellow
I don't know, Hugo, I gotta bad feeling it's all gonna come apart like wet bread
[sung]
You can't trust a man dressed in yellow
Hugo,
Only a rogue wears that hue
A man who is fondest
Of suits that are jaundest
Puts the yoke on him
And the joke
On you
They're tricksy,
All men dressed in yellow,
Something deadly in their livelihood
He must be compensating
Hugo:
Also fabricating
Constable Joe:
[laughs]
Hugo,
There you go again!
"Fabricating"
If he hated the fabric he would have never bought the suit
[sung]
He must be compensating
Hugo:
Also,
Lying
Both: 'bout why he wants the Foster's wood
Constable Joe:
Oh you can't trust a man dressed in yellow
That I knew from his very first "hello"
I should have locked him in a cell, oh
Both:
You can't trust a man-
Hugo:
From the carnival!
Constable Joe:
Also,
Carnival men can't be trusted
Something wicked there brews underneath
Those inbreds' regalia
With mad backanalia
They all share, maybe, eight teeth
I say,
Carnival men can't be trusted!
Flashy hobos, invading our towns
They ask my permission
To charge an admission
To expose us to Charlatans, acrobats and-
[stuttering]
c-c-clu
Hugo:
Clowns, sir?
Constable Joe:
[exhales deeply]
I hate them
Carnival men can't be trusted!
They're all acutely maladjusted
Who knows how their funnel cakes is dusted
Both:
No you can't trust a man-
Hugo:
With a bad handshake!
Constable Joe:
Did you notice his peculiar handshake?
His fingers neither flaccid nor firm
Hugo:
Like touching a porpoise
Constable Joe:
No, maybe a Scorpus
Keep that fish-
Hugo: Mammal
Constable Joe:
From serving full term.
Bad handshake, bad man
Both:
Watching if his grip lacks a squeeze
Constable Joe:
And a carnival man can't be trusted
Hugo:
As shifty as a swinging trapeze
Both:
And you can't trust a man dressed in yellow!
Even if you love cheddar cheese
You'll see the recipe,
One bad man
One bad man
One bad man
Constable Joe:
Come along, Hugo
Let's pick up the pace.