Tullis - Swim Lyrics

I pour a 40 for cousin
Tell my grandma I love her
Heaven must be a party
But I can't pay the cover
So they won't let me in
Cause suicide is a sin
See I been thinking a lot, and then I'm thinking again
Then I'm sad that I'm thinking and then I'm sad cause I'm sad
And I'm internalizing man I just feel like my dad
I been waiting for minutes and I been thinking of death
Man forget being happy, I just want to be fresh
See that's what everybody wants on the gram
And that's what people say they want up on twitter
People can't hold liquor they messing with good livers
Go to white parties where people calling me nigga
I wish my head was looking like an old Pepsi
Women want to love me but wishing they never met me
Lately I've been coping with hearing some people's envy
Funny how depression is working so hard to get me
Got damn, got damn, how I love it
I'm overworked like a single mother on a budget
My mind a weapon I just hope it doesn't shoot me back
Cause all I think about is what I hate and what I lack
I only notice that some people hate me cause I'm black
Sometimes I wonder if my kids will be forgiving that
Cause anyone that make a baby with me, is accepting that every privilege is no longer free
Standing on my own too fast I'm getting vertigo
Pain inside my chest I can't breathe, I can't sleep, I can't eat my feet sore they might bleed
I keep running hoping someone would like me
I'm a small burden who's not learning that fast wording is not the solution to feeling the same occurrence
I keep on thinking if I go away then nothing changing
But I keep feeling like I'm running through the biggest mazes
Went from playing open mics to seeing different stages
Went from being overlooked to being kinda famous
But I still feel like the days are long, I was sitting in the dark when I wrote this song
I was thinking if I made a mistake breaking up with you
I was thinking if I murder myself is it an issue
I was thinking if I quit on the tour
Maybe music ain't for me anymore
Maybe not

Feel better, feel better, feel better
Feel better, feel better, feel better
Feel better, feel better, feel better
I just want to feel better for you

I can say a lot but I can't guarantee you hear me though
I can tell you feelings but I'll write it in a lyric though
Therapy is someone hearing me and say they feeling me
They taking they DMT and TNT they enemies
I put out an energy, If I build a legacy
Never copping a felony remedy for family
If I die tomorrow I'm not focused on a salary
I just need the people to remember I was something
Need a bigger purpose, feeling worth it
I wish that I could cop a desk job and stay working
But I can't
So I'm looking for companions I won't push away
I'm looking for some fans that give me hella plays
I'm looking for the beauty in my broken mind
I'm looking for my love and her broken mind
People fearing I'm nearing the end of something
I can't shake the feeling that something will happen to me
I have this feeling like I'm running out of time
Feeling like it's limiting my life
I feel like people see me and notice I'm not good
My mama say she get it but I don't think that she could
And people say be happy and I really know I should
Where is the sun, I'm looking inside of the woods
You think that I'm going so crazy, well you might be right
But I'm looking for a way to not let the light die