Ugly Ghost - See for Myself Lyrics

A boy in his bed after church on a Wednesday
Haunted and heavy
From the weight of all the shame that he was taught
Born to a cult
That taught him how and how not to love
Only seventeen when he knew he believed
In fear and not a loving god

I'll see for myself
Maybe I'm going to hell
Maybe it's too soon to tell
I don't mind
I'm strawberry minded
I'm strawberry minded
(Can't run and can't fight it)
I'm strawberry minded
(Fluid and neurotic)
I hope you still want me

Retracing my steps through a lens with a clear view
There's something beautiful about what you've known all along
Stowing away the memories of secret kisses
At sleepovers before you learned it was wrong

I'll see for myself
Maybe I'm going to hell
Maybe it's too soon to tell
I don't mind

In fluorescent youth
All things are permissable
Grew into my skin
Why can't I get comfortable?
I am I
So why am I still apologizing?