ONLY ALIVE (feat. Ravencloud, God Mvker & Despised Masses) [Revised EP Version] Video (MV)

Only Alive
To live like I died
Force-fed thoughts
Rotting inside
F*ck your windfall
Life is overall
A cold mess that I'm not allowed to quit, no
I said get back
F*ck your loaded rack
In that mood where nothing feels on track yeah
So now I'm wondering if I'll feel good again
All my friends keep asking Vex you're mind been?
Don't know how to sum it up
Can't say good or bad
But I would give it all to bring back chances that I had
But every day now
I have the same doubts
Am I living just to live or is there something else?
Beneath the surface
Where's the purpose?
All I've done is die for girls that made me feel worthless
I guess it hurts less
When I destress
I just convalesce
With things I might regret
Must I covet
The shit I'll never get?
Maybe I could if I would just commit, yeah
Yeah I let you down
We both broke down
Another scar on our mentals I have done now
You've been broken all I saw is what I could've had
Lost in fear we thought it surely was the end yeah
I cant help but feel self inflicted poison
Anything I try, unfulfillment still worsens
Thoughts of being worthless all around me so immersive
I'll never be enough as long as I am this version
I've been living my life so lacklusterly, yah
Scavenging approval like a bastard being
Keep appraising me or I'll cease to exist
Can't desist, I'm addicted to my crowd to please
All the mistakes I made, all the idols I've chased
Whoring myself out for a smile on your face (hey yo)
Tried to blend in, so pathetic
Golden prisons, pure aesthetics (bleagh)
Wannabes who got to be, wasn't this the place to be
I felt like a leftover while your birthright called you to prestige
Oh, compete to shine
Just to survive
Loser by default
I'm barely alive
Sleeping through my life while you seize the day (crah crah)
Crawling back to my grave while I fade to grey (hey)
باز منو در اغوشت بگیر، بهم بگو دوسم داری،
من گیر کردم در این کالبد پیر، که تو تنها دارایی منی،
فقط پرم از عقده و شک، پرم از خشم و شهوت،
صدای فریاد_ سکوتم میاد از از اعماق وجودم
درد من رو ببین روحم داره پوسیده میشه
اراده برای نفس کشیدن از بین رفته
من به بوی پوسیدگی عادت کرده ام
فقط صدای زجر و زخم و درد توی گوشامه
برزخ بی پایان تکرار میشه هی تکرار میشه
یک نفره توی سر من زندگی میکنه
صدای منو داره و بهم میگه
کاش مرده بودی!
و من شروع به باور انچه میگوید میکنم
کاش من مرده بودم کاش من مرده بودم
درد من را ببین
توسط نیرویی از درک گذشته به حالت ترس افتضاح هدایت میشود
از لقاح پاره شده
تولد
یک تناقض کامل
به مرگ خوش امدی!
Deterioration of the mental stimulation I been chasing after materialistic shit
All the wires in my mind be crossing off the boxes of things I can't commit to
Too true
Fading to black the lines start to blur
Life will serve
The best and worst
Do you favor
The back of a hearse
Or the plights of man we can all traverse
Cope out
Were all slaves to substances
It just boils down to the poison that you pick
Toss away the salt or rub it in thick
F*ck my mental state
Can't bear the weight
People pleasing committing inner treason
Soon the only thought that's left is
Hoping that this suicide is met with silence
Can't keep fighting
Our own fate