My Grace was Null
Like a gospel by Jim jones
With the hate in veins
But it never numbed the pain
It feels like everything is trying to kill me
All the aches and wakes were never signs
Every second every moment every decision crosses the line
I lost my mind my f*cking life
I cant live in fear or romanticize these issues
That I would use my hands to tie a rope around my neck
And realize it isn't worth it again
I tried so hard to not do it again
But the victimizing thoughts comfort me inside
I cant trust a thing I'm clouded beyond belief
I'm too f*cked up to love myself
My relapses are part of the recoveries
I cant win when this is my constant thinking
This is a hell that I silently play
To a god I cannot see
I can't trust a thing
It feels like everything is trying to kill me
Everybody contradicts and points to a positive direction
This is my September, October, November, December, January
February,March, May, June, f*ck I made it that far...
July and August and its back to where it all started again