I shouldn't be alive Video (MV)

I wish that I could
Meet you for the first time again
I wish that you would
At least try to make amends

Wherever you are
Wherever you want me to be
So let me restart
So you can meet the new me

Same old mistakes
Same old addictions
Same old heartbreak
Blame expectations

Back to my dead end life
I shouldn't be alive
I'll never know what it feels like
To live past forty five

Mama I've failed you
How would I ever save you?
Papa I've shamed you
How would I ever repay you?

I'll never have a kid
She'll never suck my dick
I'll never really know what
I could accomplish

I guess that's really sad
You're all I ever had
I never thought my life would
End up so bad

Back to my dead end life
I shouldn't be alive
I'll end it all tonight
I shouldn't be alive
I'll never know what it feels like
To truly love a wife

My life at it's due date
My existence like a mistake
But everything is fine
All I needed was more time
First call for the last ride
But everything is alright

Take a chance in my glory days
Watch me crawl as I try to chase
Watch me fall cause I'm born this way

I'm so done with everything
I'm so done with everything
I'm so done with everything
I'm so done with everything
I'm not who I need to be
I'm not who I need to be
I'm not who I need to be
I'm not who I need to be

Only you know how I felt
Only you know how I felt
Only you know what it meant
Only you know what it meant

Only I know how this ends
Only I know how this ends
Only I know how this ends
Only I know how this ends
Only I know how this ends
Only I know how this ends
Only I know how this ends
Only I know how this ends