Hello, I'm doing this in one take because
I don't think this is ever going to see the light of day, plus it doesn't make sense
So what does it matter
Lately I've been feeling inadequate. I've been a bit
Of an addict when it comes to self-sabotage. It's a habit I can't quit
Or really shake for that matter
I'm starting to wonder if that's what makes me feel alive
When things are too well messed up to feel some sort of high?
Am I the type of person who can't swim
But would take a dive just to see if the pressure would keep me down
Or if I'd manage to float up to the other side
Just to see what would happen if I tried
And if I didn't make it I wonder if anyone would have cried
That's no surprise. I've always wanted attention
Not to mention I've always been tense and never learning my lessons
But repeating the things that might lead to these endings, spending my time overthinking my endings
And regretting things out of my control
I mean it's not that hard to believe. I want it all but can't handle it so maybe I should leave
You might think it's another trick that I have up my sleeve but I really mean it. I just wanted to leave but I couldn't even make that work man. I couldn't even succeed
How the f*ck does someone manage to fail to drown and bleed?
It feels kind of stupid to feel out what's going on in my life because everyone else's issues are valid and right But my own issues are so stupid I want to gut myself out with a knife
And when did I become so careless with my life?
Even now I'm lacking the vocab I once had my words word so bad it makes me mad
The simple rhymes make me sad
I used to articulate my words in a way that made me glad but now I just settle for this
This version that's less. Hope I can get back to the me who was best
Maybe then someone might be proud and someone attest
I overthink too much my head's gonna blow and the world will be next
I know that it's unhealthy and repetitive
My anxiety says think some more and I'm already ahead of it
I think I need a sedative. None of this is relative
Is everything okay Walter? You bet it is