Still confused when I'm aware
Still anxious when I'm at rest
Letting my insecurities taking away my sleep
Separating my will from my body
Persistant consciousness
Of these ice cold hands
Trying to take me over
Like something that holds me here
When I don't want to stay
Grabbed by silhouettes that somehow know my name
At first, hours
Then days
Now weeks
Please don't let these turn into goddamn years
Everything in due time
All I know is that I cannot die
Not in such an unfamiliar place
Perfecting the art of shrinking in my own head
Drowning in everything around me
Bowing down to everything I hate about myself
I just need another night to realize my purpose
I cannot grant myself this wish of death
Touched by the hand of grief
Comforting me in alluring tongues
But everything in due time
All I know is that I cannot die
Anything to shut this place up
To find myself somewhere else I'd want to get buried in
There's got to be something
There's got to be someone
Somehow
Somewhere else
And I'll find it, and I'll find it
But everything in due time
All I know is that I cannot die
Not in such an unfamiliar place
Perfecting the art of shrinking in my own head
Drowning in everything around me
Bowing down to everything I hate about myself
No regrets, no indignation
Now that the line between my art and exorcism has never been so thin
Before everything I keep in mind becomes unborn memories