Anxiety Video (MV)

Dear diary
How I lived for the past few decades
My mind is festering with these voices
In my head
And I cant make them stop
Please
I am Bound by pills
Just to make me feel normal
Im crashing down like plane
When I feel the rain
I feel so dismal inside
Im fading throughout life
Falling out of conversations
Mesmerized by tha pain of living like this
My mind is in overdrive
Spinning out of control
I cant hold on to anything
Im on life support
Mind rushing
Non controlling
Pessamistic thoughts

It has taken control over my life
I cant make the strive to get my ass up
When you feel your heart beating
Faster than race car
Racing thoughts
Isolated
Departed throughout society
I know im not normal
Im trying to get help
But am I getting help?
Do i feel better
Why am I like this
I cant even go to the f*cking store
Or drop by my friends house
Or do anything
I had lost the only thing holding me together

I dont even know what i had lost
Maybe myself
Maybe someone
Somehow im drifting out existance
I feel so alone in this life
Im surrounded by people
Yet I feel like an alien
Always alienated
Always afraid
Always down
How do I get up on this
Im so tired of my life

Im tired of this shit
Did I make my bed
Why am I living like this
I think I had fallen deeper
Into the abyss
My head hurts from all this shit
I think im fine
Am I fine
I feel insane
Am I crazy
All this things going through my head
If only you can understand
Whats going through my life
I wish I was in a different state

If only theres a way for me to take my pain away
Id be the first one in line
But there isnt