The Weather Station - Humanhood Lyrics

Maybe if I go down to the water - maybe I can get back into my body. It's a hot day, shitty, there's weeds in the breakers, there's kids throwing tantrums and circling teenagers. I was changing in the bushes, strip the clothes from my thighs. Crouching for a second, I bare my skin to the sky, sweating, hidden, in the cottonwood and vines. My mind glitching - kinda - thinking dark thoughts lately, thinking - I should admit to somebody - feeling cut off lately - thinking - was I a person? All I ever knew was I, that every morning, I wake up into eyes. I walked down the beach, squinting in the light, across the dirty sand exposed - carrying this humanhood, I went carrying my humanhood, I went carrying this humanhood, trying to make good on it. You always tell me that I walk without grace, something awkward in how I brush the hair from my face, I could be better - if I'd just listen, if I'd change. I slip into the cold shock of waves and dive under. Roll, and look up from under - blurred light, blue white blue white ripples that smash shore into sky, shore into sky - weightless for a second I swim - just breathing. I been carrying this humanhood clumsily carrying this humanhood, not carefully, carrying a body that's tired from carrying a mind. And this citizenship in this personal life I guess - this citizenship in this history, in this moment in time - one of a generation that might end this world I guess (nobody tells you how to bear this). Was I really as you say - untruthful, untrustworthy you tell me, always falling out of my body when I'm afraid, and I'm always afraid, can't seem to stay - and bear the weight of it I guess. Carrying this humanhood - it looked like a burden, like a lack of decision, too entangled a vision, too mangled a living - sacred though, precious oh -"