Weirdoe - JAMES Lyrics

(You Know Harlz Made It)
I still can't believe that the darkness took him
I ain't ever felt pain like this
I can't break now cuz I gotta try be there for James's kids
Watching my mum fall down to her knees
With her hands on her face
Screaming at the ceiling
Saying please don't take him we need him
Begging to a god that she never once believed in
The fam ain't been close for a while
But when soldiers fall then the conflict stops
I don't think that it's quite sunk in yet
I'm tryna feel something other than shock
Your son been there since hearing the news
And ever since then Me and Jaijai's lost
Hope you knew you was loved by many
Cuz bro it felt good reminiscing with Joss
I told Dan don't run to the bottle
Cuz the shit don't help if you do it in vein
You know it be real when the weed don't work
For a good nights sleep tryna ease this pain
Been losing my mind tryna plan your wake
But I'm tryna keep busy to keep me sane
I was in bits now I just feel angry
Tears from my eyes giving me migraines
Bro I know nuttin won't change
But the if's and but's left guilt and doubts
People keep telling me "you got this bro"
But f*ck knows how im gonna figure this out
I was tryna be your light in dark
Even right from the start
And that's all that Counts
You gave me things I could never pay back
Jamesy I miss you a stupid amounts

And I know I gotta do this
Even though I don't want to
One minute you was here
Then half of my world disappeared
On the night that we lost you
And i still can't believe it
Bro why you gotta leave me?
You ain't gotta fight your demons no more Jamesy
But It don't make this easy
Rest in peace

Hours go by and my world stood still
I been pinching my skin cuz it don't feel real
Can't sleep or eat
I got family and friends tryna force me meals
Had Sam on the phone like how's this happen?
Talk to me Aaron
I got messages telling me sorry for my loss
When I'm tryna pretend that i haven't
To be honest I don't really know what I feel but
Nan said you at peace now
I was there when you left but I didn't wanna leave
I swear Jamesy i freaked out
And part of me thinks I don't wanna be strong
But we both the show goes on
Disbelief is an understatement
Like I can't believe that i've wrote this song but
I'm so glad with the bond that we had
Between us there was never words unspoken
I've been tryna strong cuz I have to
I knew it woulda killed you to see me broken
So many that years that leant on you
Whose gunna catch me if I stumble and fall?
I can't blame you for the choices you made
Cuz we never had it easy, life been cruel
Knew you was ok when I seen them foxes
I'm so glad you found Dad
Seen the sign it was crystal clear
And you steared me away
From the thoughts that I had that night
I ain't gunna lie it was bad but
This ain't the time to thinking stupid
Just gotta put my thoughts on music
F*ck sake I don't wanna do this

And I know I gotta do this
Even though I don't want to
One minute you was here
Then half of my world disappeared
On the night that we lost you
And i still can't believe it
Bro why you gotta leave me?
You ain't gotta fight your demons no more Jamesy
But It don't make this easy
Rest in peace