It's gonna be the worst day It's gotta be the worst day of my life Nothing fits, my hairs a mess, Shoes don't match my purse or dress Somebody shoot me Oh my god i'm running late again One more dog and pony show Talk to people i don't know
My agent says i've gotta schmooze If i expect my book reviews To get some quotes that we can use Another party that's long and boring, A little food and a lot of snoring While i give a speech on my literary life Another night where i leave my daughter And spend it drinking imported water While i simulate perfect mother perfect wife Another worst day of my life
It's gonna be the worst day Its gonna be the worst day Of my life
I'm not the star they say i am Just one more pathetic sham I'll never make it How can i expect to hold this pose Mother, writer, wife, or friend Where does one begin or end?
O god i feel like such a fraud, Like every inch of me is flawed But still i smile while they applaud My life has gotten so complicated So underwhelming and overrated I can feel the heat but i still can't see the light And will i ever get out from under The ?silver pen? Of a one hit wonder Who's so full of fear you can cut it with a knife This is the worst day of my life
It's always slightly out of reach What i can't learn and they can't teach And now i've got to make this speech
O god i feel like such a fraud Like every inch of me is flawed But still i smile while they applaud
I wish that i had never heard of, Or ever read a single word of Lewis carroll and his fabulous career I wish that i was not related to alice littel Or celebrated And i wish to god i was anywhere but here Just so we're absolutely clear
My life has gotten so complicated So underwhelming and overrated I can feel the heat but i still cant see the light no no no I think i'll never get out from under the ?silver pen? Of a one hit wonder who's so full of fear you can cut it with a knife This is the worst day of my
A shooting star that's all out of ammo The not so grand of a grand piano While i ran away from what i really want to say I think i can and i hope i make it Don't think i can so i guess ill fake it And without a doubt i can do without the strife This is the worst day The very worst day This is the worst day of my life
Elevator Voice:(spoken) Down we go! Alice: (spoken) Oh my god who are you? Elevator Voice: Just look out below... Alice: Fear and doubt, freaking out! dropping way too fast! Elevator Voice: (spoken) Just relax, enjoy the view! Alice: (spoken) You've got to be kidding me! Elevator Voice: (laughing) Relax Alice: How long will this last? Down and down I go to god knows where!... Elevator Voice: It's a special place, with a lot space and, special people! Alice: Down I go although, when I get there! (spoken) can you tell me when I'll get home again? Elevator Voice: Well that's really up to you! Alice: What a fall, could it be what I see, isn't real at all?
Welcome to Wonderland My god it's half past eight Who cares if you came late We don't care where you've been You're gonna fit right in A little fun detour A little crazy, sure Don't get all insecure
Pardon me, but have you seen Someone looking like a queen? Sharpening a guillotine Prob'ly just as well (Ha!) She's capricious as can be Lopping heads of by decree This week severed forty-three Cutting them pell mell
What a party has it started snowing? Everyone not coming will be going Do you know the queen of hearts new orders? They're the same as always; close the boarders Could she be the one, you know? Tin man, lion or scarecrow? Wait that's from a different show
ALICE: Please start making sense
Have you seen my walrus dear? Big mustache that's down to here Made the oysters disappear Claiming self-defense
ALICE: Wait, I think you think I think I'm dreaming And when I wake up I'll wake up screaming
We don't think as all we simply feel dear
ALICE: Ok, someone tell me what's the deal here
Welcome to Wonderland This is your new address You'll love it more or less No time to decompress
It's afternoon all day There's lots of games to play Flamingo lawn croquet So please enjoy your stay
Everyday it's something new Problems up the old wazoo Rumors of a palace coup
ALICE: Get me out of here
Answers are in short supply Who, what, where, when, how or why Cross my heart and hope to die Get it into gear
When your alter-ego's interfering Self-esteem cannot stop disappearing
Welsome to Wonderland Start rocking with the band You're going so damn fast Your future's in your past An author always knows Which way the story goes So tidy up loose ends With a little help from your friends
Come on and sing along Join our little band Turn up the volume and keep on dancin' Sit back, enjoy yourself and feel the river flow Make sure the journey's worth the things you're chancin' We're all a little nuts in case you Ooblee, Ooblah We'd love to stay here but we really gotta go Ooblee, Oohblah
Life can be fantastic every minute For as long as you can just stay in it
Welcome to Wonderland Where everything you see I mean from "A" to "Z" Ain't what it seems to be Welcome to Wonderland Set phasers up to stun Turn off the lights when done Good luck and thanks a ton Ciao, baby, gotta run
Bottoms up, Take a drink, swim or sink 'till you find yourself. (echo X3) yourself It's a dream, if you blink in a wink you'll awake, From the risk, take a chance circumstance will be good to you. Make a door and then simply walk right through.
ALICE Apartment 8A, as in Alice Look I can see or find a service elevator but I?m hoping that whatever comes down must go up
CATERPILLAR Who are you?
LEGS Who are you? are you?
ALICE Seems that I should be asking you that question
CATERPILLAR Identity is a tricky, tricky business You think you are somebody till suddenly you are not You are not your name and you are not your address Cause the you who you remember is who you forgot
Heed this a advice from a caterpillar, I know a thing or two of metamorphosis Fool's paradise is you standing stiller While the river rush in round is the thing you miss
ALICE The way you talk sounds like a fortune cookie Instead of how things really are
LEGS Tell us who are you
CATERPILLAR Well pardon me let's to look and see You That you been Work and working out to far
Life is like jazz, things Are always changing Just when you learn the tone is time to modulate Razzamatazzriffs arrearangin when the You better sing it in tune Melody is simple, then doný complicate
LEGS So who are you? You? Tell us True, Tell us True
ALICE It is just me or only speaks in riddles? And never answer me at all
CATERPILLAR The more things change, the more they stay the same From a distance you look smaller, but you are just as tall
LEGS Tell us who are you?
CATERPILLAR So who are you? I'll repeat, repeat the question
LEGS So tell us who you are?
CATERPILLAR Are you prepared to tell me what you are looking for?
LEGS Tell us what you are looking for?
You need a clue, well then here's my suggestion? If you can?t see what?s in front of you them look some more
CATERPILLAR OOH ooh Hear what I?m saying girl, you think we brought you here so you can sit back and relax?
LEGS Be you ever so quick With vision keen By your eyes we are never seen Unless per chance It should comes to pass you See our reflection in a looking glass
CATERPILLAR Tell you what cha do Every time or two While you are passing through From your point of view
Bienvenidos to the neighborhood hang Say buenos dias to the rest of the gang Pull up a stoop and let's relax for a while
El Gato's gonna 'splain the facts for a while Life's unpredictable-
Alice:
What a news flash!
El Gato:
I see you see how it is The best laid plan of the mouse and man Is to improvise the things you plan to do, Get used to life on the brink Way out on a limb You don't need to think when it's sink or swim No hesitating, no sense waiting Why not jump right in and let the rhythm take you Where you go with the flow You used to be the best muchacha there was Before you got so dazzled by all the buzz The you you used to be you gotta go find The part of you that somehow got leftbehind Turn up the music and put the top down Let the convertible cruiseGet some amigos and close the shop down And then listen what El Gato says to you My little Alice, be wise You live on the ledge
Both:
You don't analyze about the cutting edge
El Gato:
Shut up and listen to what's missin' Till you hear the you you used to be And then finally You go with the flow You don't fight the tide Then let your intuition be your guide Get back in your groove, then thingsimprove when You have decided to stop fighting it and Finally you go with the flow Don't need a lesson to stop your stressin' Don't need a Ph.D For you to heal it, you gotta feel it Get it together and then let it be "It's a guitar" Turn up the music and keep the top down Let the convertible cruise
Alice:
Get into gear
El Gato:
Get some amigos and close the shop down And then close your eyes and improvise a tranquilizer Go with the flow
Both:
You go with the flow
Cats, Kittens:
Go with the flow You don't fight the tide Then let your intuition be your guide Get back your groove, then things improve when You have decided to stop fighting it And finally you go with the flow
El Gato:
You must learn to seize opportunities There's no undertow going with the flow
Give me a dragon i can slay Just say the word and i'll obey Show me a damsel in distress and i'll save her If there's a mission i'm your man Throw in the lady if you can No i'm not lancelot I'll be braver (i'?m sure to) save the day It'll look good on my resume I don't care about the take home pay I just wanna be, i wanna be your One knight who'll fight And be a wonderland guy One knight in sight Who has been board certified You'll never find another one like me, And even if you ever do, Show me one knight who will be half as true
(now listen here)
No matter where you wanna go, i'll take you there Because you know The rules of chivalry aren't quite dead yet So you just stick around with me I promise you you're gonna see A happy ending riding into the sunset When there is a real close call I'll be shining on your wall of walls (check me out) And a knight like me cuz after all, i just wanna be I wanna be your one knight Stage right Who never misses his cue (y'know i'm never gonna miss my cue) Gimme one knight who'll smite whatever comes after you A knight who when you ask will always say ?Your every wish is my command? I'm the one knight for alice in wonderland
Please just give me half a chance I'm an outsource knight so i work freelance I don't even need a real big advance just a kiss will do (or two or three) If i can be your One knight Alright Technically two credits shy Still the one knight bright white, But still a regular guy A knight who when you ask will always say "Your every wish is my command" I'm the one knight for this endeavor One knight now and forever One knight for alice in wonderland
Tea party guests: Hello. Good bye. Lets see if pigs can really fly! You know the tea is all the way from India, You see, and though that isn't near it tastes as though we grew it here. Low tea, high tea, drink your own but don't drink my tea!
Well if there's tea then it must be summer time in the late afternoon! Make a pot, for if its not then it'll be time for tea pretty soon!
March Hare: (spoken) whip up straight through the Apocalypse name of the reservation? Alice: (spoken) Alice. March Hare: (spoken) Goody!
Tea party guests: Low tea! High tea! drink your own but don't drink my tea! Well if there's tea then it must be summer time in the late afternoon! Make a pot, for if its not then it'll be time for tea pretty soon!
Well, hello there, it's me With how it's gonna be. Settle down, and listen up good. The old hatter is gone, But the hat must go on Worn by me. Is that understood? So shut up and tow the line While I redefine How this all will be mine. I have a dream. It's got a full head of steam.
What is true, what is not Can both change in a shot. People, me, I couldn't care less. Cause in two seconds flat Living under my hat Is the strategy for success. I will look the other way When you want to play Something more than croquet. You catch my drift? A little personal gift.
I'm the mad hatter. Come and follow me, this is it. The mad hatter! All you've gotta do is submit, And if you don't, my friend, Well, then in the end There'll be nothing left to defend. Know what I mean? When you are facing the queen.
Upper cased, double spaced, Everyone gets a taste And a brand new leather hat band, But to participate, Let me reiterate, You must first put me in command. I'm the wonder, understand, Under Wonderland. Put the reins in my hand. I'll do the rest, As soon as you've acquiesced.
I'm the mad hatter! Offerin' a little bit more. The mad hatter, Givin' you what you're looking for. I am your best worst case For the choice you face. I'm the fastest rat in the race. It's me or the queen And her serene guillotine.
There is nothing I won't do. There is nothing too taboo. I will lie. I will cheat. I will track you down and then hit delete, tout suite. So, sweetie, let me repeat
I'm the mad hatter! Pledge allegiance while you still can! The mad hatter, More than just a hat with a plan. I am where you belong, The right kind of wrong, And I'll still be going real strong. The bottom line Is everything will be fine. As all the planets align, It's gonna be so divine When all of this will be mine!
Home is not a place An address you memorize Its more than central park Or apartment 8a It's where you never feel lonely Whenever you're alone That's how you know you are home
How i wish that i could feel that Once more Right now How i wish that you could find it again Home is like a smile you see in a photograph No matter what you do Its not supposed to change I really need you to be here because you want to be
Back on the ground no more racing around Here safe and sound with me
Through the looking glass we go, Searching for the way things used to be, All the things i used to know, When my heart was young enough to see, Through my own reflection Past my inperfection Theres an eightsquare waiting, No more hesitating.
Through the looking glass we go, Where the world is in reverse, And the ending always starts a new beginning, Through the mirror even though, Things may go from bad to worse
Close your eyes and learn to believe, So we can pass,
Through the Looking glass.
Here we come so clear the deck! Bombs away, then look out below
I am such a nervous wreck Don't know up from down or friend from foe
Fear will make you braver, Brave enough to save her,
Okay you and me then, Get set one, two, three and..
Through the Looking Glass we go, Where the front is always back, And whats left is right, And sometimes wrong is right, Through the mirror even though, Night is day, and white is black,
As my crazy life begins to approch, Critical Mass!
Through the looking glass,
Reach the eightsquare alice,
Then we'll storm the palace Won't we,
I'll be back, The hoard i'll pull my weight, My sword is gone,
Never mind that right now, We'll just wing it some how,
Yes but what!
I don't know
Ready, set now, let's go, Through the looking glass we go, Does the opposite of me, When the towers ours, All the counter-clockwise, Through the mirror even though, Those two people that we see, Look exactly like a virgin of us, About to crash!
A child believes the best in you, And that belief Always makes the darkest lies Seem almost true. With slight of hand, This almost truth Can beguile the purest youth To Wonderland.
Now every piece is in place And all that's left to erase Before I take over all the power, Is every trace of dear Alice Then the Queen, She's been a thorn in my side And she can run but can't hide We're fast approaching The witching hour And settling scores Is my routine.
Oh well, all's well ends well, Farewell Alice! Too late, Checkmate is your fate - It's over! I come alive When you're afraid! I'll write the ending Of your tragic Fairytale, I will survive, And you will fade. A withered flower small and frail, While I prevail.
This time it's gonna be me The last thing you'll ever see, An Armageddon of my devising, There's no way you can escape From what I do. So leave your half-hearted souls For me to bully and rule, The sly magician Of compromising, To conjure all that is false Until it's true.
Poor Jack, black Jack Sad sack, fallen Hero, Bad news, you lose, Light the fuse, It's over! You die, I thrive And so it goes. I am the ending Of your tragic Fairytale, I will survive, And Heaven knows There is no way that I can fail, I will prevail!
THE VICTORIAN GENTLEMAN: Nothing can exist 'til you dream it first, everyone knows this. Then, it will arrive, new and unrehearsed, vivid as a kiss. Dreamers and children can conjure things easily, Things their eyes, though they're closed, can see. Not the way things are, but how they should be, this is what is true. Wish upon a star, close your eyes and see all that you can do. Try to remember the way you were when you were her, The little girl that's there inside of you. I am my own invention, Meeting each day anew. Can you imagine being your own invention, too'
Dreams will always start with a happy end waiting to come true
ALICE:So long ago
THE GENTLEMAN: Lucid as a heart, welcome as a friend, gossamer and new.
ALICE: Help me so I can remember dreams to share, With dreams to spare, imagining a dreamer just like you.
It's off with their heads It's the least i can do Off with their heads Is the only phrase that always rings true Never gets old So i say to you With conviction Off with their heads It's my one real milieu Every one dreads what the queen may say Though hats they may doff It will be off with their heads I try to be even and fair But as you see I'm almost never All quite there
Noblesse oblige My derrier
When i demand all must adhere I wave my hand and all my courtiers appear And when they don't or if they won't Loud and clear it's off with their heads I don't care what they've done Off with their heads Is my first and second Rule number one Once you've begun well it's so much fun All together Off with their heads is a mantra of mine Off with their heads is my bottom line And if you dare scoff, well then it's off with your head Don't need a congress or a constitution For its a forgone conclusion That every problem has the same solution Persuade crusade with a Custom made renewable Doable and unmisconstruable Stainless steel blade
Off with their heads It's the least i can do Off with their heads Is the only phrase that always rings true
Baby it's off off off off off off off off off off With their heads Off with their heads Off with their heads
It's off with their heads It's the least i can do Off with their heads Is the only phrase that always rings true Never gets old So i say to you With conviction Off with their heads It's my one real milieu Every one dreads what the queen may say Though hats they may doff It will be off with their heads I try to be even and fair But as you see I'm almost never All quite there
Noblesse oblige My derrier
When i demand all must adhere I wave my hand and all my courtiers appear And when they don't or if they won't Loud and clear it's off with their heads I don't care what they've done Off with their heads Is my first and second Rule number one Once you've begun well it's so much fun All together Off with their heads is a mantra of mine Off with their heads is my bottom line And if you dare scoff, well then it's off with your head Don't need a congress or a constitution For its a forgone conclusion That every problem has the same solution Persuade crusade with a Custom made renewable Doable and unmisconstruable Stainless steel blade
Off with their heads It's the least i can do Off with their heads Is the only phrase that always rings true
Baby it's off off off off off off off off off off With their heads Off with their heads Off with their heads
White Rabbit: (softly) Chances they come and go. But you're afraid and so, you run away.
Cheshire Cat: (softly) And when a chance is there, make believe you don't care. That's how to play.
Caterpillar: (softly) Bridges you never crossed, left you alone and lost. looking around.
White Knight: (softly) People are hard to find, when they get left behind on such angry ground.
All: (softly) So it goes..
Alice: The hours move, the days go by. We wait for heroes to fall from the sky. Don't wait too long, to learn whats true. I promise you'll be a hero for me, and I'll be a hero for you.
Nothing is black or white, Easy is wrong or right Or so they say. You were the best of me, saving the rest of me, day after day.
Hold on to those you love, Through what you're dreaming of, You'll make it somehow! The future can change the past, make every second last. For all we have, is here and now!
(Chorus) The hours move the days go by, why wait for heroes to fall from the sky?
Alice: I finally know, what's really true. I promise you'll be a hero for me, and I'll be a hero for you!
(Chorus echoes) I'll be a hero for you, I'll be a hero, I'll be a hero, A hero... for you! ... The hours move, the days go by, why wait for heroes to fall from the sky? The hours move, they days go by, I'll be your hero... (softly) The hours move the days go by, why wait for heroes to fall?...
Alice: (softly) The hours move, the days go by. Why wait for heroes to fall from the sky?
We move to fast We miss so much We seldom see all the miracles in front of us A warm embrace A human touch And so it goes I race around Search high and low for a truth I used to know When there was magic to be found
(Chorus) Cause finding wonderland Is taking time to see The child within has always been there smiling back at me So when I close my eyes I just remember and I cant help finding wonderland
Its not to late Here in my prime hearts can un-break in the story's nick of time A happy ending A perfect rhyme
(Chorus) Cause finding wonderland is finding who you are The child with in has always been there like a shining star So when i close my eyes I see forever and I keep on finding wonderland
Ordinary magic happens every single day Wonderland is never far away
Cause finding wonderland is going home again To feel the love another gives and giving back and then If you should lose your way reach out for someones hand and you'll be finding wonderland Youll be finding Wonderland
Spoken: I don?t understand this place! In fact, it gets curios-er and curios-er
Curios-er and Curios-er and Curios-er am I First I grow too li-ttle And then I grow too high Wonder what I?m do-ing here I think I?m going to cry Oh Curios-er and Curios-er am I!
(Weeping)
Spoken: Oh now what?s happening? I seem to be surrounded by water Have I fallen into the sea? NO, I?ve cried so much I?m about to be drowned in my own tears! I have to swim!!
Curios-er and Curios-er I?m up to my ears, Swimming in my own little ocean of te-ars Could it be? It seems to me, A mouse? Is swimming Oh Curios-er and Curios-er am I
If ya need somethin' done Lay and Wait, hit and run Well, there's just one name you should know
I'm not sugar and spice I'm more naughty than nice And when it comes to bad, I'm a pro
So just drop a dime on me I will guarantee It's a fate to complete Check out the hat Cause, baby, I'm where it's at
You need someone to find Something nasty, in mind? Just put the Hatter hot on the trail I can get the job done like Attila the Hun And, buddy, that ain't no fairytale
Let them run away I will make them pay Quicker than the Lady can say "Off with their heads" Well, isn't that what she said?
I'm the Mad Hatter Wacky as a hatter should be The Mad Hatter Ain't no body crazy as me Might as well give up now Ain't no way, no how No one makes their get-away clean Know what I mean? Hatter works for the Queen
What is true, what is not Can both change in a shot And, buddy, me? I couldn't care less Uh-uh
Cause in two seconds flat Livin' under my hat Is the strategy for success I can stop a coo With a thing or two That you thought nobody could do You outta know This ain't my first rodeo Yee-Hah!
I'm the Mad Hatter Dapper as a hatter should be The Mad Hatter Ain't nobody snapper, see? So just surrender, dear Or the end is near Let's grease up that old guillotine You think I'm mean? Well, get a load of the Queen!
There is nothing I won't do There is nothing to taboo
I will lie I will cheat Track you down, then hit "delete" Tout suite! So, sweetie, let me repeat
I'm the Mad Hatter Clever as a hatter should be The Mad Hatter Never pull the wool over me I've got a welcome plan Here in Wonderland It's an audience with an ax Take it from me, I'm only sayin' the facts So sit back and relax The Mad Hatter attacks The Mad Hatter attacks
Alice: Although he is really quite appealing, In a silly sort of Wonderland way.
Jack: Seems like that I'm always thinking of her.
Alice: Who cares if I met him yesterday?
Jack: Seems like probably I'm sure I love her.
Both: So I guess it happens just like they say. Love begins, Like a whisper. Then it grows into a roar, Until you simply can't ignore it. There's no way To conceal it. And you know it when you feel it 'Cause I know it feels like this When love begins.
Jack: What good is a hero under fire, Unless there's a lady who will care?
Alice: What use is a streetcar named desire, If the happy ending never gets there?
Both: Love begins From a distance. Then it's close enough to touch Until it's suddenly too much. When love begins, It's a wonder, An enchanted spell you're under That you hope will never end. When love begins.
Alice: Listen for the hush, Right before the rush Of it moves through your heart.
Jack: Let it come to you. Nothing you can do.
Both: Except let go and let it start. Love begins When it wants to. You can't tell it what to do Or who it ought to happen to. When love begins It's like magic And it takes your breath away And makes you pray that it will stay. When love begins.
To seek advice from a caterpillar Is not the same as google'ing the internet, You must be nice to a caterpillar If you wanna get the answers that you hope to get. Please be consise and forget the filler Cut to the chase and leave the fillerbree behind Brief and consise be a first rate griller Or the answers to your questions could be hard to find. It seems to me that we go round and rounder And dont get anywhere at all The more things change the more they stay the same Then a cater, caterpillar Will a small get tall. To seek advice from caterpillar You need to pay more then attention to who'se who The stink of price can be quite a thriller Uncle joe and auntie madder send their best to you. It seems to me that we go round and rounder And dont get anywhere at all The more things change the more they stay the same While the hatish chatter filler Echoes down the hall.
To seek advice from a caterpillar Is something serious, is certaintly no joke You must be nice to a Caterpillar Or the answers that your seeking Could go up in smoke!
To seek advice from a caterpillar Want you to plot a somewhat flowery approach You must be nice to a caterpillar Or instead of first class magic You'll be stuck in coach With the loud condense, As a consequence, Of a future tense,
Queen of Hearts: To be a proper subject one must ever proper be And not just when the monarchs dropping by for tea Which by the way reminds me was my invitation lost
White Rabbit: Perhaps the palace mailroom got the signals crossed
Queen of Hearts: Well in either case they face disgrace so Lets begin the executions (yes in either case they face disgrace, all hail the queen) And you young lady who are you I don?t believe we?ve met
Alice: I?m from the land of credit cards and endless debt
Queen of Hearts: I see that sounds an awful place No wonder you?ve come here No matter here or there let me make one thing clear If you anger me there?ll be no tea and Very little sympathizing (there will be no tea says her majesty all hail the queen)
White Knight: Your majesty is right of course
Queen of Hearts: Of course I am I am the source And will not trouble those who disagree
White Knight: Like tweedledum and tweedledee She will heartedly agree your highness
Alice: I do agree your majesty If I agree is there a fee?
Queen: There will be if you sing the song appease
White Knight: We crave a boon from you my queen More of a royal favor
Queen: Rather large or small or none at all You must be careful what you wish for (whether large or small or none at all)
Wonderland, formerly called Wonderland: Alice's New Musical Adventure or Wonderland: A New Alice, is a musical play with a book by Jack Murphy and Gregory Boyd, lyrics by Murphy, and music by Frank Wildhorn. The story, a contemporary version of the novels Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (1865) and Through the Looking-Glass (1871) by Lewis Carroll, is set in New York City and focuses on writer Alice Cornwinkle and her 10-year-old daughter Chloe.
After various workshops and productions of the musical in Tampa, Florida and Houston, Texas, the show premiered on Broadway on April 17, 2011, closing a month later, on May 15, 2011.
-Wikipedia