World On Fyre - Santa Claus Is Called Jeff (And He’s Bald As Hell) Lyrics

Once upon a time, he wore red and white
Now he's got a warehouse and he's primed for the fight
No sleigh, no reindeer, no North Pole
Just a big bald head and delivery control
He's everywhere, in every town
With boxes piling up, bringing Christmas down

Santa Claus is called Jeff, and he's bald as hell
Delivering Christmas with a corporate sell
No more magic, no more cheer
Just clicks and drones, he's taking over here
Santa Claus is called Jeff, and he's got the cash
Turning Christmas spirit into a cold, hard stash

He's got the elves working 'round the clock
On conveyor belts that never stop
With a barcode scan, your gift's on its way
No jolly old Santa, just next-day pay
Forget the stockings, forget the sleigh
Jeff's got it all in a cardboard way

Santa Claus is called Jeff, and he's bald as hell
Delivering Christmas with a corporate sell
No more magic, no more cheer
Just clicks and drones, he's taking over here
Santa Claus is called Jeff, and he's got the cash
Turning Christmas spirit into a cold, hard stash

Where's the snow, where's the sleigh bells ringin'
Now it's just emails and doorbells dingin'
Kids don't write letters; they fill up their carts
While Santa's in Seattle, counting out parts

Santa Claus is called Jeff, and he's bald as hell
Delivering Christmas with a corporate sell
No more magic, no more cheer
Just clicks and drones, he's taking over here
Santa Claus is called Jeff, and he's got the cash
Turning Christmas spirit into a cold, hard stash

So here's to the guy with a billion-dollar head
Santa's now a brand, all the magic's dead
Christmas in a box, brought right to your door
Santa Claus is called Jeff and he wants more