It all started, I was 14, had no plans in life God, did I figure out what I strive for in life
Bam, there I was, talking to some old man, god
Four years later, what a mess anyway
I wish I could tell you more, but
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna hear this song
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna sing along
Boom, bitch, just like I'm Chris Hansen
Lord, I wish I was dancin
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna hear this song
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna sing along
Boom, bitch, just like I'm Chris Hansen
Lord, I wish I was dancin
I talked to the FBI, they wanted my pics
Bitch, I gave them some and more
Now you're in court, waitin' for a deal
Gosh, so much layers to peel
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna hear this song
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna sing along
Boom, bitch, just like I'm Chris Hansen
Lord, I wish I was dancin
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna hear this song
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna sing along
Boom, bitch, just like I'm Chris Hansen
Lord, I wish I was dancin
Yo, it's Landry on the beat
That's right, the FBI called me
I extorted you, I hate your kind
You're a gross-ass bitch and I hope you die
I'm kinda sad that you didn't get asked to take a seat
Sent straight to the slammer you're supposed to be
Have fun being beat in jail God knows you deserve it
Cause they didn't even give you the option for bail
I wish I could tell you how badly you f*cked up I wish I could tell you how badly you f*cked up
I wish I could tell you how badly you f*cked up
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna hear this song
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna sing along
Boom, bitch, just like I'm Chris Hansen
Lord, I wish I was dancin
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna hear this song
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna sing along
Boom, bitch, just like I'm Chris Hansen
Lord, I wish I was dancin
I wish I could tell you how badly you f*cked up
You don't even know how many decades they'll add to your sentence
Let's also mention how you complained I was only fourteen and didn't work
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna hear this song
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna sing along
Boom, bitch, just like I'm Chris Hansen
Lord, I wish I was dancin
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna hear this song
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna sing along
Boom, bitch, just like I'm Chris Hansen
Lord, I wish I was dancin
Chris Hansen, Chris Hansen, Chris Hansen, Chris Hansen
I'm Chris Hansen, Chris Hansen, Chris Hansen
(Used my last call to Call my parents, who got me a lawyer
Um
Jail's f*ckin' horrible, oh my god)
Hear that? That's a thirty-six-year-old man talking to a fourteen-year-old girl
F*cking pedos, I can't stand them
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna hear this song
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna sing along
Boom, bitch, just like I'm Chris Hansen
Lord, I wish I was dancin
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna hear this song
Boom, bitch, you're never gonna sing along
Boom, bitch, just like I'm Chris Hansen
Lord, I wish I was dancin