You woke up this morning our chevy was gone
Saw a candy paint tractor parked out in the lawn
And I was passed out with my head on the wheel
I know you ain't happy but I got a great deal
I can see that you're ornery I can see that you're pissed
You're grinding your molars and balling your fists
But tone it down darling and don't say a thing
Cause you knew I was crazy when you put on that ring
You knew I was wild at the start of this mess
When I got on one knee and you shouted out "yes"
I know that you're angry but don't say a thing
Cause you knew I was crazy when you put on that ring
I know you can tell from the blood on my shirt
I drank too much four loko and got myself hurt
I ain't gonna tell you what I did to offend
But we can't go to waffle house ever again
You act like you hated when I bought that gray mare
When you know I looked handsome galloping up the stairs
Don't say you weren't swooning below in the den
How could I have known that the floor would cave in
"Why can't I stay out of trouble?" you say
"When we got a baby that's due any day"
Calm yourself honey and don't have a doubt
That I got us covered no need to freak out
Cause last year I got drunk on Bacardi and cokes
And I made a sick deal with these old men in cloaks
I set a good future for our little lad
But the dark lord Cthulu might be his real dad
You knew I was wild at the start of this mess
When I got on one knee and you shouted out "yes"
I know that you're angry but don't say a thing
Cause you knew I was crazy when you put on that ring
Put down that knife, honey don't say a thing
Cause you knew I was crazy when you put on that ring