YUME - hollow Lyrics

I wasted all my time today
Now I feel empty
I threw away the moments
I should feel so lucky to have
Hollowed and stripped of my drive
I can't say I feel alive
At least not for today
Tonight I know I'll lie awake
Mind fixed hard on my mistakes
Eyes glued to the ceiling
But I can't balance guilt
Risking everything I built
I'm not what you deserve
But I can't make amends
I won't lie I won't pretend
I'm not what you deserve
#INSTRUMENTAL
I think I lost a part of me
Or maybe it's hiding
Half awake I haunt my space
Not sure what I'm providing
I want to see my life in colour
Or do I need to live another?
I'll keep it close for now
Disconnected from myself
Forgot to check my mental health
A hand around my neck
But I can't balance guilt
Risking everything I built
I'm not what you deserve
No I can't make amends
I won't lie I won't pretend
I'm not what you deserve
Cos I can't deal with you would feel
If I spill my guts and break down
But I don't know how long I can cope (I can't express myself always second guess myself)
Before I wither and drown (Oh will I wither and drown?)
But I can't balance guilt
Risking everything I built
I'm not what you deserve
But I can't make amends
I won't lie I won't pretend
I'm not what you deserve