zxxd - Elysium Lyrics

Yesterday, I contemplated
With some noose and a rope, maybe also a belt
Today, I'm back up with my pen, writing sorrows on the paper
The way I dodge the bullets, this my catchphrase, "See you later"
Stuck in a loop, I can feel my brain rotting
Break my brain into pieces, hammer nails inside my coffin
Shit, I can't even see the light
I'ma go down kicking with a fight
My thoughts, fears, plots, and my pains
That's what's mixed together when they course through my veins
Eyes wide shut, but I see it all clear
The truth in the lies, and the lust in the fear
I'm sifting through the rubble of the life that I've built
When I die, I just hope my children read by my will
Sit by the fire, burn the paper, make sure everyone forget
I don't wanna be remembered by you, at least not yet
But the price of fame is everlasting pain
I don't feel no joy, I can't feel no way
I'm not healing, not feeling, and I'm not suicidal
But my feelings killed themselves way before I decided I will