Alexandru Sandoiu - Portrait Lyrics

I've always been one to play the fool
To fool the fool who thinks I'm being fooled
But this awkward staging leads nowhere
Guess I'd rather throw my f*cks into thin air

Never been the one to greet with hostility
But can't f*ck with kissing the hands which hurt me
I had never given up on battles easily
Until I fought battles which were never mine to battle

I've always been one to chase dreams
And step over my inhibitions for the better
But I gotta keep myself focused
Even if it means to walk alone, and not together

Been f*cked over by old lovers
Doesn't mean I should f*ck myself over, too
Or let myself get damaged by others
I know damn well what I deserve
And no, it's not someone to help me recover

I put that shit to work
I gift all these clowns with a joyful smirk
Made my parents proud, or so I hope
But being who I want to be can be a slippery slope

Unapologetic and sometimes self-centered
I filled my emptiness with strangers
For a dose of affection, I surrendered
The bed was my confessional, but filled with dangers

I wrote a lot of letters to long-lost friends
Who have washed what once was tragic
But I always found myself to be the one who mends
The broken hearts which lacked magic
And I'm alone again once it all ends

I never needed saving
And I closed so many doors
So that I can preserve my good deeds
And let myself heal from past bleeds.

I won't let myself be defined by misdemeanours
Or be judged by the eyes of those who don't know what I carry
I can't get back the f*cks that I gave, there's no room for strife
There's only color in the portrait of my life