(Performed by Tyne Daly (Judy), Harriet Harris (Georgette), Chip Zien (Murray) and Michael X. Martin (George)
Judy
So you think your daughter's going to marry a guy.
All you planned to do that day was stand there and cry.
She wears your dress, she wears your pearls
And then she says shes pregnant and she sleeps with girls.
But am I surprised?
Georgette
That's Family
There's a chance I should have known that my son would be gay.
I encouraged everything to make him that way.
I showed him plays with thespians.
It worked so well he's gay and sleeps with lesbians.
But am I surprised?
Judy
It doesn't work that way
Georgette
I know
Judy and Georgette
That's family
You can make plans by the score
Involve your children and just watch the plans fly out the door
Georgette
Now our kids are getting ready to add to the klan
Judy
With so many of us bubbies its useless to plan
Georgette
What's a grandma?
Judy
The child will grow
Georgette
Will fret and fuss
Judy and Georgette
Then the kid will do to them what they just did to us
Georgette
Will they be surprised?
Judy
I hope so
Judy and Georgette
That's family
Murray
Did you see that our two wives are now related?
George
Is this real or are we both hallucinating?
Murray
Yes
George
Its true
Murray
Oy
George
Vey
Murray and George
Betcha stranger things will happen when you've become family
All
You can make plans by the score
Involve your children and just watch the plans fly out the door
(Overlapping)
Judy and Georgette
Now the kids are getting ready to add to the klan.
With so many of us bubbies its useless to plan.
The child will grow, will fret and fuss.
Then watch it do to them what they just did to us.
A word to the wise
Murray and George
Did you see that our two wives are now related?
Is this real or are we both hallucinating?
Yes, its true. Oy Vey.
Betcha stranger things will happen
All
When you've become family
Judy
Crazy
Murray
Contented
George
Devoted
Georgette
Demented
All
Loving, neurotic, adoring, psychotic
Mostly happy
Judy
What doesn't kill ya...
Georgette
Makes ya drink!!
All
Family