Swag Inspector - The British Lyrics

Ordered a sandwich
Instead of chips, they gave me fries
The menu said different
Unless I cannot trust my eyes

This isn't what I want, the menu said 'chips'
Do I f*cking look British?

I just want some chips, not fries
This menu is a f*cking lie
I'm too shy to send it back
So I'll sit here like a bitch and eat it quietly

Mayo on the side?
I think I'm gonna puke my dinner
I want a cold beer
But all I see are something called 'bitters'

A pint of what? Bud or shitty Guinness?
Man, I really hate the English

Why is there milk in my tea?
I don't recall ordering coffee
I'm too shy to send it back
So I'll sit here like a bitch and sip it obnoxiously

I'm trying not to go ballistic
But I want a cookie, not a biscuit
I'm too shy to send it back
So I'll sit here like a bitch and shove it right up my ass